Cheng Yi's concert was AWESOME. I never did appreciate High School Musical but yeah it didn't jar my ears for once in my life. :D Oh oh and and and the way the basketballers walked was super funny; not to mention the billions of "mans" in the script. HAHAHA.

Hey man.

What's up man.

I don't know man.

Don't you think Sharpay's hot man?

Yeah totally man.

Or something along those lines! Man. Hehehe.

Hahha okay I know it sounds damn weird coming from me but well everyone thinks so. Cheng Yi damn cute can? HAHAHA. I honestly feel that I didn't waste 16 bucks. Although it's like, OHMYGAWD SIXTEEN BUCKS ARE YOU SERIOUS?! (: Thanks for a great show RGS Choir.

But yeah, I'm really glad that you managed to pull through everything that's been going on and all. Know it hasn't been easy on you and our friendship but yeah you're still awesome anyhow. :D I'll bake you some potatoes someday HAHAHHAHAHHA.

---

Why do I feel that everyone is against me? I really have no idea what I've done. Really. So please do enlighten me whether I've offended you or whatever. It's so irritating trying to second guess you guys. Zzz.

When I say everyone, I don't mean EVERYONE. Just a target group. (:

---

I can't wait for Sec3 LBE this weekend! Hehehehhe I'm going to referee and HEHEHE I'M GONNA COME UP WITH FORFEITSSSSS. You guys watch out.

On yet another spiritual note: GOD HELP ME GOD.

I really really really need your peace. There's so many things in life right now and I can feel myself buckling under the pressure. Problems with myself, mainly. And I don't know, maybe stuff to do with my friends in school?

But I know that your unfailing love is always there for me to draw upon. Sometimes I totally feel that I don't deserve an ounce of it (I mean, who hasn't felt this way?). And some other times I just think that I've been taking advantage of it all the time. I still want to thank You all the same.

Help me straighten out my life and my walk please. Thank You. (:

Awesomazing God.

Today is a day off I can slack at homeeeeee until training later (: Going to go a bit earlier to work out something for Take Me To The Riot auditions. Hehe.

I realize that I'm always wasting my time. Computer games, surfing the net doing retarded stuff... I should be putting all that time to good use.

---

Back to square one. Why can't I ever prevent myself from doing it? It's like I'm always failing no matter how hard I try. Or am I trying hard enough?

This will be the last.

I promise, God. I'm sorry.

CSI Season 1 is unexpectedly down-to-earth and extremely saddening. I really respect Jerry Bruckheimer in the way that he comes up with all these emotionally appealing storylines. That show used to be for me a look into the world of science and technology and way cool stuff, but now it's now only that; now it's also an epiphany of all our mortalities, and our feelings, and how someone would feel when his best friend or his wife is brutally taken away from him in the most unexpected ways possible.

On a completely lighter note, I really think these two years in track are going to be the most enjoyable in my life. Even though training completely sucked yesterday where I couldn't even do 4 sets of 80m-push ups-80m-abdominals-80m-squats-80m, and when everybody else was doing what, 5. It just goes to show how unfit I am and it's completely unprecedented. I've never felt this way before and my fitness has never atrophied this badly before. Less than 1k with exercises that I should be pulling off with no kick? Running slower than the whole jumps team? This just isn't me. I'm less fit than girls, my gosh. Not being sexist or anything here, I hope you can tell.

And I'm going to do something about it. It shouldn't be this way -- it won't be this way.

But that was supposed to be a "lighter note". Well here it is! Track dinner yesterday was retardedly funnnnn. Even though it was completely filled with ego and innuendos. (:

I'm looking forward to life; I really am. But I know sometimes nothing will feel right. Like how it did yesterday. But I'll move on and get up and danceeeeeeee.

Cheerios.

Yesterday was a mindblowing day.

I honestly thought it would be completely normal. Go to school, go for training, maybe have dinner with trackers, then go home. But the first 9 messages started the day off awesomely.

Then in school people whom I thought didn't even know it's my birthday just came up to me and wished me. Class spammed a birthday song before GP lesson, and then my first time playing soccer in over a MONTH. I think I played pretty well for someone like that.

And then came training. Mini surprise in the form of a sweet hunt (had to find 17 sweets; only found 16 though cause the last one was sneaky until...). Training was mostly physical and a longgg captains' ball game before finishing up. We were all super filthy and wet and stinky and suddenly, the team broke out a CAKE and celebrated Ben's YY's and my birthdays! Totally awesomazing. And then there was the customary taupok and cake facial which made my face smell like chocolate omg. But IT WAS AMAZINGLY FUN.

And well. I just want to thank you guys. It feels like such a blessing to have an epic team like the one we have right now and I'm enjoying every moment I spend with you. A really nice surprise on a day that I thought would be completely normal. You guys rock! (Y)

And I also want to thank a very important person in my life -- THANK YOU GOD. For blessing me so abundantly! I just pray that You'll help me in my birthday wish. (:

After that nobody could eat dinner though cause everyone had to rush home to do PI. But once again I felt really blessed because I finished it up super early and managed to be a blessing in turn!

And of course a shoutout to the one and only person who called me to wish me happy birthday in person. Really, it was a sweet thing to do, I'm sorry I was so fail cause I don't have caller ID. :D

Looking soooooo forward to training tomorrow. (:

I really think I'm becoming too obsessed over external appearances. Maybe it's because I haven't been doing things right. Maybe it's because I haven't been following His Will. I know I haven't. But at the same time, I know I should.

Oh gosh, why can't I change. Why. Just stop, drop everything, and start over. Why can't I do something seemingly so simple yet infinitely hard in practice. I will. Starting TODAY.

I'm also starting to feel life doesn't have much of a purpose. I mean, everyday is go school study go home slack on the computer sleep repeat xInfinitely. What's the whole point? And the things I'm supposedly living for pass by so quickly. I need to learn how to shift my world view.

God help me change, please. Show me a way to remind myself to follow your will. Thank you.

---

Preliminary Idea is retarded. But I think mine's pretty alright actually. Just need to cut down another 80 words or so from an already super skeletal work. Ah well how hard can that be?

---



Completely awesome singer (Y)

---

CYCLING THIS SATURDAY AFTERNOON ANYONE? :D From East Coast Park to church! Wheeeee.

I feel like I just rediscovered you; we hadn't talked in ages. Thanks so much for today (:

And yes, this is directed at you too. I'm going to try my very best to change and become a better person. Starting from now. You'll be there rooting for me right! :D

God is AWESOMAZING. I might sound like a total hypocrite with what I've done and have been doing, but I still love Him and I know He loves me. In lieu of that -- He is awesomazing.

So God,

I know I've failed you continuously. Even until now. And I foresee many failures ahead. But Father, I thank you so much for your unending love and grace, which fills my cup to the brim. I know that to get this awesome stuff I need to get rid of the worldly pleasures that I have now and I pray that you'll help me do so. Give me discipline, give me strength, give me wisdom. Arm me with your weapons and your armor to fend off temptation. Thank You, Father Almighty. From today onwards, I promise You that I will try my best to be a new man.

You're awesomazing, you know? In Jesus' Name, Amen.

---

Cheerios today was good. Iron Man 2 is pretty epic, and the trailer at the end... THOR IS COMING TO TOWN. (Y)

I'm so looking forward to catching up with you, our plans were foiled AGAIN today. Hahahhaa oh well. All the best for bowling season yeah. Go burn the lanes. (:



I WILL GET THROUGH THIS. With His love, with your support.

Track party at Debby's house awesome until..?

Just too awesome. :D Even though we basically did nothing it was DAMN FUN. All thanks goes to Debby and her family for being such gracious hosts even though we really trashed her beloved bicycle card set and like, made a huge mess of her house. But yeah I think we totally completely destroyed the tranquil atmosphere that's supposed to be night. Hahahhaha.

It's been two Saturdays of partying, first Mahdi's place, then Deb's. Which REALLY make me look forward to Track Chalet in June. I think it's going to be even more epic than what has happened so far.

Oh and track exco interview was... not very stressful at all. Much less than HISSOC, at least. But on hindsight I kind of regret saying that I'm not ready for the captain's post. I actually feel I am ready, but other people might suit the post better than me. Yep. Wasted opportunity there, and I'm not sure if I'll get it back. Hopefully I will though? Hopefully I will.

I'm going to start living a proper life with God. I know I haven't been doing so, even though I really need to. So here's my declaration. Let's do this.

Oh and, heh. Homework needs to be done. But I'll place God first and He'll take care of my worries in time. (: Because He's awesome.

Cheerios! I'm off.