Omgosh. I really really wanna pick up dance. But I have no idea if my parents will let me.

God, help me and guide me when I'm trying to learn dance Lord. I might have two left feet but with You anything's possible. Give me the will to persevere and not give up when facing adversity. So please support me and be with me. (:

I also want to pray for my SG, heavenly Father. Give me the wisdom to lead them in learning Your word this Sunday Lord, and help them be open and be active in participating. Lord, I've never done this before and I feel nervous, so wouldn't You bless this Sunday Lord, please. Help me understand and give me wisdom to choose a good topic, God, and bless us.

Lord I also want to lift up the 40 Day Fast into your hands Lord. Give my friends and I the willpower to continue it and help us remember to look to You in times of suffering.

I love You. Help me learn and grow in You, Almighty Father.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

(:

---

Okay today was... not that hard either. Chinese was funny, had this Cheena fool speaking in Spanish and French and Japanese. And in the end all he said were just warped Chinese words -.- Lol. PE was completely soccer cause half the PE department is stuck in boarding haha.

Starting 40 Day Fast tomorrow! I really really pray I'll have the willpower to keep it going. Not eating lunch for 40 days (:

Oh well, I really really need to speed up my dancing learning. ): I feel so behind! And I think I've got two left feet BLEAH. Practice!

I think I'm not going to do much tonight. Social Studies and Lit I guess. :D

Seeya.

I didn't die today! First period gone, last period gone, card playing in Chem, other group's presentation in Lit, whee it was fun. Apparently all our lessons and activities in the afternoon are canceled, so yeah. Assemblies are all canceled too. ;D

And then EPIC TRANSFORMERS 2 THE SECOND TIME. But oh well I couldn't appreciate it that much was seriously tired.

Glad that everyone made it through their first day okay ;D

Cheng Yi, Jay Chou and SHE scores man! HAHAHHAHA. :D

//EDIT//

I remembered it's someone very special's birthday today! :D :D :D

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY CHARMAINE CHONG (:

It's been really really great having you as a friend, ever since working with you at RMUN all the way till now. You're really hyper and excitable and all, but I know you can be really really serious when you want to. It isn't all a bad thing! ;D You've also been a true friend in a time when I don't have that many. (: It's really a pity you didn't have the time for council outings recently, it would've been even more fun with you around. But I hope to get to know you better as time passes, and definitely, continue to Grow in Him and learn from Him! I'm sure you'll turn out to be a great person for Christ.

Once again, really happy 15th birthday. Hope you've had a great and blessed day, and may your upcoming times be blessed too (: Take care!

Oh my PFFFFFFT. I left my homework file in church. Crap man. I'm totally dead. Almost all the rubrics in there, ALL the Chinese test papers, ALL the English comprehensions.

I am so freaking dead, I'm scared. Smith and Co. are gonna tear my sorry bum apart.

HAHA but apparently a lot of other people didn't do their work either. :D You seeing this?

Today was fun, really. Sermon on ants (which wasn't the coolest of topics, but nevertheless) followed by really short SG followed by random captain's ball with Clarice's and Sheldon's SGs. Whee funs. Lunch, blah blah blah and I TOTALLY NEED TO GET THE WINDMILL RIGHT. Heehee.

Okay, school's starting. Means my income is coming back! And ohmycraphelpmeplease my homework's all in church. At least no important project stuff is there, I'd die. ): Haiz.

I need to attain perfect pitch. For some reason I'm always a semitone or a tone off. ): And my range! D:

Video today? Gamblerz, once again, not in 2005. :D



Total. Ownage. Yes?
----------------------------

In our hard times, we really have to remember, God's grace is exactly what it is, His grace. It's because He loves us, so He gives us so much. But when we feel down, or like we're up against the wall, it's easy to start blaming God, asking Him why He hasn't done anything to help us, questioning His love for us. But who are we to say such things? He loves us, and that is an unfailing, never-ending love. We shouldn't be expecting anything from Him at all! Although we should offer up as much as we can for His purpose. Because it's in hard times when God's grace and mercy is truly shown, but sometimes the anger and the pain has blinded us to His acts, or we fail to attribute something that happens to Him, possibly because it's so insignificant and all. It appears not necessarily in forms that we might expect, or in the time that we feel we need it most. But in the very end, when all the world has gone gray, the only sure comfort is the comfort of God.

Haha leading SG in a week's time. Got four topics! Don't know which one to choose from, they're all so good =\

We should follow God's Will.
God has a universal will that applies to all people, in all places, at all times.
God's will for our lives will be revealed progressively throughout their lifetime, through a variety of means, as they walk with Him daily.
Following God's will includes struggling with life's difficulties but that God is present and can use these struggles to help them grow.

Oh well. Help me choose, will you? (:

I really need to start picking up devotionals and stuff. I think they're awesomely useful :D

Haha BGR seminar was really very enriching LOL. And I found out that Cheng Yi likes to draw when she's bored. Ah well.

Other than that, today was sian. Why is it I don't seem to be getting anywhere with my piano, even with practice! Rawr I think it's a mental blockage or something =\

And you people out there. If you don't know something for certain, please don't speculate. It honestly does not do any good at all to anybody concerned. (:

Ohmygosh I just realised I lost all my Canon in D scores. D: How am I supposed to teach Clarice!

Bleah.

Haha. What video today? Must be nais leh.. Hm. I KNOW. BREAKDANCING, kickass. :D

Why do I always feel this way. It freaking sucks.

Transformers, rocks. No idea why it's only a half star rating; I think that guy must have fallen asleep drunk during the movie and came out with this lame excuse of a review. Or maybe he didn't watch Transformers 1, that's why he said there was no plot development, when the whole plot was developed in the first movie. Idiot. Pffft, Straits Times really should choose their reviewers better -.-

Anyway, yes Megan Fox is a woman/female/girl through and through, so stop destroying young boys' lives by saying she is not. And she is major hawt in the movie :D More so than you Anisha, you ain't hotter than Fox. And Shia was super funny man. The spasms in the lecture... HAHA. And omg robot slut! Freaky tongue. D: Like you know, metallic female hot Toad from Xmen? Close luh.

I was almost late jeez. So I had to rush there in a taxi. WHICH I SHOULD NOT BE DOING OMG. Parents keep on threatening me with how we're not going to have a secure house to live in within two months if my dad doesn't get a solid job by then. ): I really need to start saving, people, help me okay.

Anyway after that rushed like siao to Marina Square for project meeting. Interview with Alex Au wasn't.. the best. But yeah we got some good information and insights (: Now just have to transcribe it. Boo.

Then... went home for a Big Mac! Haha lucky there was extra or else I'd have starved D: THIS IS WEDNESDAY BTW, NOT THURSDAY.

Okay then, on Thursday HAHA. Boring day. Let's leave it at that (: Although I nearly did crickets and a windmill. GRRR. Irritating man.

Council outing later! I HOPE YOU GUYS CHOSE TO DO SOMETHING REALLY REALLY FUN D: Haha just joking. (:

Okay what video is the <3 today?



LINKIN PARK'S NEW DIVIDE FROM TRANSFORMERS OHMYGOSH PRO VIDEO!

Sorry haha. (:

New Divide lyrics
Songwriters: Bennington, Chester Charl; Bourdon, Robert; Delson, Brad; Farrell, Dave; Hahn, Joseph; Shinoda, Mike;

I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash as time began to blur
Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide

There was nothing in sight but memories left abandoned
There was nowhere to hide, the ashes fell like snow
And the ground caved in between where we were standing
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes across this new divide

In every loss, in every lie, in every truth that you'd deny
And each regret and each goodbye was a mistake too great to hide
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide
Across this new divide, across this new divide
-------------------------
And OMG LIVE.


-------------------------
Damn, <3.

John 12:24-25



Just, wow.

Presenting, Phil Campbell's Cold Engine.

Haha, first heard to song while watching Goal 3, and honestly the moment I heard it I had to look for the name online. It sounds so super good luh!

Can't find the lyrics though apparently it's so low profile heh.
---------------------------------------------------
Anyway, it's the last week of the holidays! I really hope they extend school or these few days I'll be dead on my feet with projects and rushing of homework >< Irritating-ness.

Ah well Transformers tomorrow! Haha. Gonna totally rock.

Ciao (:

RAWR YOU'RE NOT GETTING RID OF ME THAT EASILY MAN.

NEVER.

:D

And I'm feeling really good today! So yesh.

Happy day, father's day.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DADDY AND ALL MY SPIRITUAL "FATHERS" OUT THERE.

I know how much effort you guys put in in making sure we grow up nice and healthy and good and all. (: SO THANK YOU VERY MUCH. :D :D :D Although you'll probably never ever see this ): But yeah it's the thought that counts! Right? Haha. So yeah I really really appreciate what you've been doing for me and will always be doing for me. I <3 you guys!

:D

I seriously can't take it anymore.

It's nearly over, so I hope you guys are happy.

And to those who never meant anything and were just normal people, I'm sorry.

It's not my fault.

HAHA I LOVE THIS SONG NOW. XD And to think I'd never like Chinese songs cause I don't understand them. Thanks for opening my eyes Chengyi (:

Jay Chou - Tui Hou



天空灰得像哭过
离开你以后
並沒有更自由
酸酸的空氣
嗅出我们的距离
一幕锥心的结局
像呼吸般无法停息
抽屉泛黄的日记
榨乾了回憶
那笑容是夏季
你我的过去
被順時針的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
粗心的眼泪是多余
我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给了承诺
却被时间扑了空
我知道我们都没有错
只是放手会比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里待續

The sky is so gray that it looks like it just cried
After leaving you
I did not gain more freedom
The sourness from the air
Smelling out our distance
A scene of of heartbreaking ending
Like breathing, unable to stop.
The yellowed diary in the drawer
pressed dry our memories
That smile is summer
Our past
Has been forgotten as time goes by
A love that lacked oxygen.
Careless tears are unnecessary
I know that it is not your fault or mine.
We just forgot how to step back
We made promises to each other with confidence
Yet it has been emptied by time
I know that it is not your fault or mine
It's just that letting go would make things easier
The most beautiful love is to be continued in [my] memory.

-------------------------------

Today was completely great. Morning, project work in school for the magnetohydrodynamic ship, hardly took up two hours! Just short discussion and delegating of work. But omg, someone in RJC got H1N1 -.- So whenever I want to enter the school have to give them EZ-link card to sign in. So cool luh haha. Yeah then 88 for 2 hours all the way to Pasir Ris. Morning over, only blip is my mom pmsing just a bit in the morning, over me oversleeping and she linking it to me not going to school to do work. >_> Weird thinking.

Like, I oversleep, and suddenly I turn around and she's squatting next to my bed going to my phone. I pick it up, look at the time, ohmygosh I'm late!, so she thinks my phone messages are planning an outing and I'm not going to school. So she demands that I give her my phone, although I deleted all my messages already. So I tell her this and she gets really really angry! And she's ranting (not that badly, actually) and when she gives me money she gives me a 10 buck note, and tells me to give back 2 bucks when I get home. LOL. So funny luh, looking back at it (:

Anyway bowling with Liang Zhi/Bertrand/WenYa/Veron :D Like I got 5 spares in a row and 2 others, and a strike whee, :D final score over 100. (: Happy, seeing that I've not bowled in ages. Then lunch at Just Acia, which a reallyreallyreally nice person help me pay. Oh gosh I feel so bad ): I'll make it up to you sometime (:

Then arcade/movie! Omg, tough luck man Cheng Yi. D: Ghost of Girlfriends Past is sadly boring if you watch it a second time because it's even more predictable than it originally was, and that's saying something. But after that went back to church to slack, whee won two pool games :D It's a good day. And then Delane's birthday cake! Hahaha. Wait, I owe you a birthday post:

HEYYA DELANE :D I know this is a BIT late but I did send you an sms! (Which you didn't reply grr) So yeah, this is just the follow-up (: I know you had a really great three days, judging from your Sentosa celebration (which you didn't tell me about! D:) And today's cake and your actual birthday. Hahah so I really don't have to say have a good one. But it's been great knowing you and being high and all, so I'm glad I can call you my friend, since the start of TOFU until now (: Continue being yourself and growing in the Lord okay! And try and get some tan! Haha, you're so white omgomgomg. Cheers!

Okay so that's done! Hope you like it Delane.

And then home, where I'm writing this post and learning how to play Tui Hou on the piano. :D

Tomorrow's a new day!

Whee I feel like I'm wasting the June holidays away. NOT GOOD PERSON.

Argh I really wanna try and enjoy it haha. But sadly there hasn't been much for me to enjoy =\

Nobody's going out, there's hardly anything to do at home, omg why are holidays so pointless!

Neh mind, haha. Change topic. I know I used to be a retard last time, but I've changed okay. (:

So yeah. And omg I am completely utterly broke now. 6 movies in 5 weeks doesn't really help your savings very much =\

I've been wasting time doing absolutely lame stuff on the computer, like Fifa Online 2, and trying to put in some piano practice here and there. But I really don't feel like mugging right now; seeing as it's the holidays! I think I'll bring my math to church sometime and ask people to teach me, that'd work haha.

I really want to pick up guitar and drums! Any kind soul out there willing to teach me for free, seeing as I'm completely utterly broke now? Haha.

Oh man, I totally miss RMUN so much. It's not just the actual event, it's the anticipation to it, it's the preparation, the feeling that there's something going on the next day and you're looking forward to it! Like something where you prepare fervently for even though it's not important precisely because it isn't stressful! Now there isn't anything left ): Except postmun outings and crashing HAHA. But still the excitement and anticipation is gone... Honestly miss that feeling very very much.

I'm looking forward to something making my holidays meaningful. Lord, do You have any plans for me? Because I honestly have no plans for myself right now, other than work and play.

Let me hear You (:

Yes, I'm okay people. (: I always get through somehow.

Anyway, this is Details in the Fabric, by Jason Mraz ft. James Morrison. Great song :D

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads and
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it’s a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything
Everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
And know your name
Go your own way

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own)
Are the things that make you panic (Know your name)
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)

Hold your own
Know your name
Go your own way.

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own)
Are the things that make you panic (Know your name)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine? (Go your own way)
Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own)
Hell no reason go on and scream (Know your name)
If you’re shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold
----------------------------

And yeah. No prizes to who guesses why I relate to it so much. (:

Anyway I think I'm mentally unstable :D

What the heck. Honestly I know you're tired and you're frustrated and that mom's sick, and I can live with some nagging and irritation cause of all that. But honestly if you think I'm going to roll over for you to command me and do whatever you want like scold me for absolutely no reason then I'm sorry, go find some other dog to do it for you.

Cause I'm not a dog. Maybe they're better, I don't know. But I for sure am not a dog. So stop comparing me with one.

I make you sick? Cause I give you so much stress? Think of it from my perspective, you proud, ignorant people. I get a serious fever on Friday night, and I don't even let you know precisely because one of you is sick and the other is tired. I self-medicate, I don't complain of my headache and sore throat to you, and apparently I'm the one who makes you sick. Wow. Maybe it's just cause you choose to see all the wrong sides of me. And that impression you already have of me is too deeply ingrained in that stubborn vault that is your conscience and your brain.

I'm so glad there are people out there who understand me. And I hope you find God, because He'll understand you and He'll help you too.

and to you!
stoppp.! having low self esteem ._.
i told you you're a great person already right! :D
you see! i'm your good friend, and that says something right ;D
all my friends are awesome la haha.
you get it -.-!
God thinks you're so much more awesome than i think you are ._.
and so really, he wouldn't want you to be unhappy over these things.
trust that things will change yeah?
just like let Him take the wheel then i'm sure things will be fine ._.
have faith as small as a mustard seed! :D
big enough to move a mountain(:

thanks <3 what would i do without you?

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

YAY I feel MUCH better now omg.

And I really can't believe Cheng Yi's dad. Like, I spoilt their mp3 and he goes and buys me a new one? Like, ohmygosh nobody I knew from my previous life would EVER do that for me. Really want to thank him :DD

And I'll totally miss all of you who're going for camp. Have fun okay!

[Cheng Yi: Hahha nah I think I'll survive four days. How bad can four days get? And honestly, I was quite stoned when you gave me the mp4 just now cause like, nobody would ever do that for me and you just totally caught me off guard heh. Thank you so much (:]

Ecosoc1; YMpact is the <3

What is wrong with my dad. As if I don't feel bad enough already? One of my closest friend's ipod got totally soaked cause I forgot to take it out of my pocket and it got washed and I'm super freaking sad because I promised myself I'd take care of it but I didn't cause I'm useless at keeping promises.

And he still has to keep on rubbing the irritating salt into my wounds. When will he realise that this kind of method has never worked on me and will never work on me!

And they're not even angry that I spoiled it, which honestly is a completely new experience for me. Throughout my life everything that I've done wrong be it through carelessness or accident has been blamed on me. It's all your fault, David. It's because you're an apathetic slob who doesn't care what happens in the world around him. I'M SORRY OKAY.

And I <3 you guys, who ever is helping me keep my head high out there. (:

And honesty, my life would suck, without you. <3

Love you RMUN peoples :D

I don't ever want to forget my experience. Completely, utter ownage.

And it all passed by so damn fast! Just as we were getting warmed up it's over. Which is really sad.

But at least it ain't the end of everything. They're called postmun outings. (:

And they're called photos, for memories. On facebook, and my computer.

Really, honestly, truthfully. You guys ROCK.

Heyyyyyyyy RACHEL KOH. Someone's older today!

Hahahha HAPPY BIRTHDAY luh you. 14 years old already hmm? I feel old. LOL. Thanks for being very nearly the wackiest person I've ever met in my life, especially when I'm upset and you just come butting in with some major.. something. Don't know what's the word haha, but oh well. You get the meaning. And yeah thanks for just being who you are. I'll leave that to all my readers' interpretation ;D IT'S A COMPLIMENT OKAY.

I'm JEALOUS you're gonna be at camp luh. But I shouldn't be feeling jealous, I should be happy you're having fun over there. Oh well okay. Have fun over there! And when you come back we can go for your birthday present. AMANDA'S GETTING THE POPCORN. :D Or Cheng Yi, or Daphne, or whoever is going. Just not me yayy.

Gosh we both miss Kai Juan don't we. I have the perfect solution. MAKE HER FEEL SO GUILTY SHE'LL COME BACK TO CHURCH FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Ain't I a genius! ;D And talking about Cheng Yi, will you stop doing what you usually do, because usually doing what you do usually do is really really exasperating. Although it does garner a couple of laughs here and there. :D Oh whatever, keep on doing it, like I care.

Yeah. Wait back to the point I'M RAMBLING already. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAR YOU. D: I want my birthday back. Continue to grow in the Lord and learn from Him! As I'm sure you definitely will. Hope you have a GREAT day yeahhh. Enjoy it, it's not everyday someone turns 14. Or maybe it is, considering there are about 6 billion people on the world now. Ah wells.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY (:

And I'm so looking forward to another movie. :D

Take care, GOD BLESS!