yesterday seems like such a blur;

2011-10-26T20:31:00.000+08:00

STUPID FREAKING JAILBREAK.

I just upgraded to iOS 5 today. And it was going all hunky-dory so I decided to try and jailbreak my phone with Redsn0w. But thank you, you stupid, dumb jailbreak app. You made my phone crash.

And now I have to resync all THREE HUNDRED applications. Not to mention my THOUSAND FIVE SONGS as well. Which I can't do, because I don't have my hard disk. What the hell.

Stupid Apple.

2011-08-27T12:29:00.001+08:00

12 days since my last post, nothing much new.

It's less than a week to the start of my prelims, and I'm not doing much studying. It's pretty irritating but I guess I'll have to buck up soon. Starting with after lunch.

Singing backup vocals without playing piano for the first time, I think it's gonna be pretty fun hahaha hope my voice doesn't die on me!

Okay time to get whatever random stuff I want done on the computer quickly before lunch because after lunch it's lockdown time.

2011-08-15T20:41:00.002+08:00

Argentine Tango on Sunday was really really fun, even though it was pretty darn awkward dancing with a roomful of girls and changing partner every few minutes. But haha after getting the steps I realize it wasn't that weird after all! Really really can't wait for lyrical jazz on Saturday night.

Dinner after that at the Bedok interchange coffeeshop, had the usual mutton soup, sugar cane juice, tang yuan combo haha then off to Udders with Fel/Roo/Mabel/Bryan/Victor! Their Baileys and Bourbon ice cream is really very very good (:

Home at like 11 plus, kind of late but completely worth it.

---

The horrible feeling's coming back. I'm starting to look behind my back at every turn, worried that somebody else is going to freak out and die off in my life once again. Thanks for reassuring me that just because someone doesn't reply my messages means they're irritated with me, Rebecca. I needed someone to tell me that. :\

And to be honest the worst part about this is that I don't know what I can do about it, because I fear that whatever I do it'll just come across the wrong way to whoever the other party is.

I get so tired and sick of this sometimes I just want to cast off all control and shout a big fat vulgarity at the world, but I don't know why I keep trying. The result, a splitting headache. Sigh how is this worth it?

God, I need You. But at the same time, Lord, would You please send some kind soul to just walk my walk with me? I need to know that somebody will be there no matter what I do to just tell me when I've done wrong and help me along. Won't You please send somebody?

---

Everything's swirling around in my head I don't know where it started and where it will end. And it's definitely affecting my studies, I can tell. Best. If it weren't A level year I really wouldn't be so worried. Sadly enough, it is.

And today I only completed one Economics essay. ): My life sucks. I can't study at home for nuts and nobody wants to go study with me outside. Seriously.

I just have to keep my hopes up that my planned study partner for Friday is free. She's so busy now with preparations for prelims and whatnot, I can't blame her at all. Oh well.

Resign~

2011-08-10T23:37:00.002+08:00

Just got home from badminton! Today was such a weird day. I can't think of a better word, to be honest.

So I met Leroy at Pasir Ris library and we walked over to the badminton hall together. Turns out at first we were the only two youths there O_O Thank God Mabel, Bryan and jie turned up later on so it wasn't that boring. I think I played pretty well today (: Although I play quite little.

Slacking at Macs after was fun too. Mabel Ang is so funny when she plays bridge. Like she doesn't have a clue what's going on but somehow she always manages to win. Innate abilities eh?

School's resuming tomorrow after such a long break; I realize I haven't done much this 5 days and to be honest I'm quite worried. But that worry isn't translating into action.

I promised God I'll talk to Him later, and I will. I wanna try and be serious with this relationship~

Goodnight, blogosphere. It was nice talking to you again (: Here's a video to keep you company.

I'll sing to glorify Your holy name;

2011-08-09T20:37:00.001+08:00

Nah I was wrong I'm still an insecure retard.

But I'll be working towards it.

CROSSTraining was today, wasn't too bad sitting around at the viewing gallery not doing anything but reading chemistry. But I realize that I'm a LOT more suited to throwing it down than sitting around watching people get thrown down. Looks like a life of camp group leading for me instead of camp committee~

I wish people cared. But everything they do seems to point in the opposite direction.

Gotta go for dinner now, I know it's a bit late! I shall work on this post later tonight. Goodbye!

2011-08-08T08:24:00.002+08:00

Festival of Praise was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

I felt myself go through a complete overhaul those two days. From an insecure awkward guy to a person empowered through the grace of God.

The worship was just amazing, thank God for His blessing upon bands like New Life Worship. Really brought the roof down in praising Him.

And John Bevere -- what a talented speaker! It's hard to imagine that he was this lousy-with-English-and-couldn't-write-to-save-his-life kid when he was younger. I really drew a lot of lessons from his sermon, the most important one being that grace is the empowerment of God, not just His salvation. And we can draw on this grace only by having faith.

It's really cool how he can think of so many ways to package just one message. And I'm so glad I took notes because there is no way I could've remembered by just listening~ (:

I make a covenant with Him today -- I will not go back to my old ways.

---

Leading worship was a pretty darn cool experience. I mean it was weird at the same time because I didn't expect to get thrust into all 4 songs directly but Isaac had a bad throat so just tank la! God was with me anyway (:

I think I started off okay but as my voice got tired/throat became dry everything became a little pitchy cause I couldn't really hit the high notes anymore, but oh well.

I didn't feel that awkward with a piano in front of my at all! I mean, my attention was split like, four-way between the scores, the keys, the congregation and God, but I think I managed to pull through? I always thought I couldn't play and sing at the same time. I revise that statement to I can't play complicated melodies and sing at the same time (:

But thank you EVERYBODY for the encouragement! Audrey, Rachel, Isaac, Ken, Graham, Sheldon (lol decent), Sam, Becky, Jeslyn, Kyle, Liang Jie, Enoch and Jessica. Made my day, it did (:

2011-07-30T23:42:00.002+08:00

Sigh that familiar, yet contemptible feeling is back. That feeling of paranoia, of fear, of anxiety, that everybody around me sees me for the piece of crap I really am. I absolutely loathe this feeling.

I look around me, and all I see are judging stares. Not the approval of friends, not the caring eyes of loved ones. Just judgement, dislike and disappointment.

I so badly want this feeling to disappear. But no matter how hard I pray, how much I try to think about other things, these doubts always come back to haunt me. The failures of my past, the relationships that have fallen by the wayside, broken and hurting. And they're a part of who I am, I can't just take them by the collar and throw them out. I wish I could, but I can't.

It seems like I have a really bad habit of destroying friendships just when they're about to mature. It's somewhat a recurring theme in this tragedy that's my life. Every time something seems to be going well, I just have to get that sense of paranoia and become all clingy and shit. But idk how to change it's happened so many times I'm sick and tired of it but I'M TRAPPED and I don't know what to do! I need somebody's help...

I know God's able to help me with everything, but I can't seem to hear Him, even though I know He hears me.

My love languages are quality time, and encouragement. I hardly ever get any of those... All the lonely meals I've had, all the times spent on my own, they strangle me.

I really want to try the invisibility test one day. Just disappear from the face of the earth for a couple of days and see who notices. I have a bad feeling nobody will. And that just makes me so f@#$ing sad.

Really, who cares, in this world?

---

Jie, if you're reading this, chances are it's cause I told you to. I hope it kind of explains how I'm feeling, and I really hope you'll talk to me after this. I know it was dumb and insane of me to suddenly get angry with you the other night but I'm in a shitload of trouble and all the emo messages the other day was merely the tip of the iceberg.

---

http://youtu.be/pImjE6bpFsI

Is anybody listening,
Can you hear me when I call,
I'm shooting signals in the air,
cause I need somebody's help.
I can't make it on my own,
so I'm giving up myself;
Is anybody listening, listening...

2011-07-27T10:10:00.003+08:00

Okay something highly irritating happened in school, ergo I am posting this emergency blogpost.

So I went to chemistry class today having done my Group II tutorial and then I realize that I'm supposed to do the chemistry practical. So when the teacher asks why I didn't do my tutorial I raised my hand. Naturally he asked me why I didn't do it so I said that I didn't know. He asks me what I planned to do seeing as I didn't do my homework and I said 'if you send me out then I'll miss the whole class which defeats the whole purpose' and he just becomes a major doucherated bag and says that's just a convenient excuse. -.- then he storms out of class leaving the whole thing uncompleted.

Sigh it was so freaking irritating I tore up my planning tutorial zzz.

Okay that's it I'm done.

2011-07-26T23:44:00.002+08:00

I came across one of the saddest sights in my life today. It really made my heart just plummet.

So I was walking home after dinner with Mabel, Dinah, LZ and Hayden, going across the overhead bridge that connects Tampines to Pasir Ris. I was walking up the slope when I walked past this elderly man limping slowly.

At first I didn't have that much of a thought for him, but for some reason I stopped walking and turned around. And that's like the moment when you're torn in between wanting to help someone and holding back for fear of insulting that person's capabilities.

In the end, asking WWJD really helped, so I went back down the slope and asked him if he was okay. He said he was fine, just a bit short of breath, which was normal. So I wished him well and walked away. But that unsettled feeling still lingered, and I continued to watch him amble slowly. When he got to the overhead bridge he stopped again to catch his breath. And I realized that I should get down there and see if I could do anything.

But when I got there he said he was alright. Looked a bit shocked to see me again, but told me that his breathlessness was a very normal condition and he was just on his way home. Then he thanked me.

So, that was all I could do I guess? Just continued to watch him walk up the overheard bridge's ramp and praying that he'd be alright.

That short happening made me realize some stuff -- I will never ever leave my parents to fend for themselves. Seriously, at 11pm, there's this one elderly guy walking home, limping home, with a walking stick in his hand, and not a single relative in sight? For shame, indeed.

I felt so sorry for him, and I just told myself, I won't let my parents suffer the same fate.

Keep that guy in your prayers guys. Pray for the elderly, for those who've sacrificed so much to teach us their ways, only for our ways to cloud our memories of them and cast them onto the wayside.

2011-07-22T15:43:00.002+08:00

And today was the day of reckoning.

I feel really lousy and crappy now cause of what I've done. And every part of me just wants to go back and erase myself. I mean, I knew that there was always the chance I would get found out but sigh, I didn't expect to feel so bad about it.

I guess it's a good thing? Shows that there's still some human in me even though there's so much sin and devilish crap. Or maybe humanity is the sin and devilish crap and that conscience and bad feeling is God speaking through the fog. I don't know, but I sure hope it is.

Or maybe, just maybe, I'm being self-centered and only focusing on myself. I really hope nothing bad comes out of this. Sigh God forgive my folly and give me the strength to face the consequences. I don't wanna fall down and stay down, so help me up please.

Update soon bye.

---

I have no friends. All the ones I thought were friends were paper dolls blown away by the wind, dissolved by the rain, burnt by all the fire in my life.

2011-07-12T08:50:00.002+08:00

Yay first time blogging off my iPhone!

Nothing happening for Civics class so we're basically just slacking, sigh. Oh well makes for a good time to blog haha. There's Silat stiff going on later in the afternoon and I forgot to bring my PE sigh. And since buying a whole new set is quite a waste of money I guess I'll take the long ride home to get them haha.

Four more tutorials all in a row after this! Yet I'm already so tired and it's not even 9 haha what to do.

G'day folks (:

2011-06-20T22:59:00.000+08:00

Gonna get owned for CTs yay.

2011-06-13T13:02:00.002+08:00

Okay I guess it's time I posted after being MIA for so long. I'll start with replying my wonderful tagboard posters. Yes, that was sarcastic.

Lololol: dude you seriously ****ing suck, no friends and now even people flicking water at you. Haha. You are a penis 8=D

You're a jackass you know? Who the shit are you to say that I have no friends? I bet you're some sad no-lifer asshole who thinks he's cool just cause he hangs out with people who think they are cool. What a wannabe, idiot.

I don't need the approval of others for them to be my friends. If I need to lower myself to being a jackass in order to gain "friends", which I'm sure you have done, then I don't need those "friends". And I know for a fact that I have real friends. Friends who actually care what's going to happen to me, instead of friends that will disappear the moment you get into deep shit.

Good luck to you, you sound like you really need to find real friends.

kyle: man you just suck. get a hold of urself! stop emoing and wallowing in self pity. if ur sorry abt being hypocritical then STOP! and quit calling ppl weird bots they're just trying to be nice! no wonder ppl dun like u...

You sure as hell aren't Kyle. If you want to impersonate somebody at least do it on somebody that I might be fooled by? Otherwise you're just being plain stupid omg -.- I don't wallow in self-pity, fool. Not anymore. If you didn't realize, cause of that Neanderthal brain of yours, that was a prayer. So get lost from my conversation with God, alright?

Who the hell are you to judge me? I call people weird because they are weird, and they sure as hell aren't trying to be nice. I really wonder who's the hypocrite here, you know?

Get lost, the two of you. Complete utter rubbish -.-

---

Hello everybody okay no mood for blogging already only have flamers on my tagboard. Screw this shit la.

At least I'm going to Malaysia for like a week to visit relatives it's going to be quite fun (sans the hardcore mugging, haha).

Sigh I'm going to fail CT2s I have barely started and it's already week 3 D: -Dies-

2011-05-23T22:25:00.001+08:00

Hi God.

I really need your help right now. I really can't do this on my own. I keep telling myself it'll be alright, it'll be okay, but no it never is. So God, I know I'm being extremely hypocritical and insincere but I need your help.

So please, God?

Thanks (:

2011-05-23T19:20:00.002+08:00

Sigh today was damn irritating. Okay la, only one part. When I was minding my own business in the toilet cubicle some retards went and flicked water over the door. So irritating la! Not like I did anything to them -.- best part is that they knew me, I think. Idiots. Ugh.

Oh well post later bye!

2011-05-22T08:02:00.003+08:00

Should I bother maintaining my tagboard? It's like rife with random spammers and weird bots. Ah well I'll get around to doing it #procrastinationking.

Anyway, sigh idk what's up with me nowadays. Everyday seems so aimless, so pointless. I NEED A REFRESHER. So next week, please pass quickly? I would appreciate it very very much (:

Okay going off to church now (although it's still quite early :O) Alright then ciao!

2011-05-21T10:49:00.001+08:00

WE WE WE SO EXCITED.

CHACHI GONZALES RETWEETED ME! :D :D :D :D

2011-05-21T10:01:00.002+08:00

Hello everybody!

This is my new dance hero/idol. Meet the one, the only... OLIVIA "CHACHI" GONZALES!!

For those of you who aren't too familiar with her, she's a member of i.am.Me crew competing in this season's America's Best Dance Crew! And well, she's only 15 so to be competing at that top level putting awesome performances week in week out is pretty amazing to me. So yes ALL THE BEST I.AM.ME AND CHACHI you completely inspire me! (:

---

RJC girls' soccer lost to MJC in the 3rd/4th placing match... ): On penalties some more, it was super heart wrenching la! Final score RJC 0 (1) - (3) 0 MJC. Oh well it was an AWESOME FIGHT RJC GIRLS' SOCCER TEAM GREAT JOB AM PROUD OF YOUUUUU!

Went to support Yu Ying for harmonica concert yesterday it really wasn't too bad!! So yes, congratulations Ng Yu Ying for handling yourself so well in the face of all the pressure and stuff. Another segment of your JC life is over! (And apparently you're happy that it is heh) but anyway now to focus on the final goal left. I'll be right there mugging my ass off with you and so will the whole class so let's do this! Ganbatte!

---

Okay customary video dedication... wonder what I should put.

I guess oldies are the best; I really love this song!

I'm glad we're on this one way street, just you and I.

I'm never gonna say goodbye,

Cause i never wanna see you cry

I swore to you my love would remain,

and i'll swear it all over again;

I'm never gonna treat you bad

cause I never wanna see you sad

I swore to share your joy and your pain,

and I'll swear it all over again;

Bye everybody! <3

2011-05-19T23:20:00.000+08:00

If love is an ocean wide

We'll swim in the tears we cry

They'll see us through to the other side

We're gonna make it

When love is a raging sea

You can hold on to me

We'll find a way tonight

Love is an ocean wide

I do love that song so very very much. It just reminds me of how awesome true love is. But I still find myself asking where on earth I can find that, because right now it seems so hard and elusive.

But I guess it'll come sooner or later (:

Sorry I've been so MIA and not posting, I haven't really had the time/have been quite lazy recently. But ironically right, recently I also haven't been up to much, really just going through the motions of J2 life and going to school and coming back home tired and doing church stuff like I've always been doing.

I think my life is in need of a bit of direction right now, other than like the obvious studying for A levels. So yeah my prayer request this week is that I'll have direction in my life! (:

---

I saw this quote on Twitter recently -- two reasons why people change: either they have learned a lot, or they've been hurt too much. I think recently it's been much more of the latter for me. And I'm not sure if people realize but I think I've changed a lot recently. Becoming more introverted, definitely. Having a somewhat bleaker outlook on life? Stuff like that.

I hope, I wish, I pray that I can go back to how I was before because I liked where I was (in the good sense). I don't want to become this dour, stoic person who detaches himself from life because of whatever reason...

But at the same time I realize trying to be positive and thinking everything will work out all the time just doesn't cut it. It wears away your willpower layer by layer until you feel so worn and tired and you just want to give up. It's a horrible feeling, that every time you throw up this facade hoping to impact others and in the end it just gets discarded because nobody cares, nobody cares at all.

Sigh I really hope I can revert.

---

On a more studious note, I really should start studying properly now! It's only just over a month before my CT2s arrive and I don't want to do badly for them. I shall post all my June holiday commitments here and that shall be it. (:

27 - 29 May - Farmstay retreat

I'm really looking forward to this! And I said as much during today's prayer meeting but I don't know why everyone was so cynical about it... )': I'm really hoping to be refreshed during this time so yeah fingers crossed that it will be up to my expectations I guess! Looking forward to a time of relaxing and fellowship with my fellow leaders!

31 May - PW group BBQ

Just a shoutout to my PW groupmates -- I REALLY MISS YOU GUYS. I think like even though I'm not as close to all of you as maybe Leeni for example, the PW process really helped us grow as friends and I can count on you guys being there for me when I need you guys. I am so psyched LEGGO.

1 - 3 June - RMUN

Another awesome edition of RMUN coming up! I've seen the delegates in my council at the 2nd briefing and they do indeed look really really promising so here's to an awesome debate throughout the three days! Oh and, look forward to working with my juniors in my council too!

11 June - GDOP ushering

Never done ushering before so this'll be a completely new experience but I'm ready for it! (:

14 - 16 June - Track chalet

I HOPE MY MOM LETS ME GO FOR THIS ): It'll be the last proper thing we do as a track J2 team! <3 you guyssssss.

14 - 19 June - Malaysia visit

And yes finally trip back to Malaysia to visit relatives/celebrate my grandmother's birthday! (:

---

Alright, that's it from me today. This post is really quite long :O

Peace out (:

2011-05-16T20:19:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wish someone would say this to me;

Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You are perfect to me!

You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred... such a tired game
It's enough! I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same

Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You' are perfect to me

The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that... ?

Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby... !

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me
You're perfect, you're perfect!
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You're are perfect to me...

Yup, why don't I have anyone who will tell me that?

2011-05-11T22:04:00.003+08:00

I am so freaking tired of this shit.

Tell me, who out there really cares? Every single one of my "friends" has faded away. I've never felt more lonely in my life, seriously.

I'm not exaggerating when I say every single one of them. One by one they've just moved on. Like, now I have nobody to hang out with, nobody to talk to without having to look behind my back for back-stabbers. They're all gone.

And the best part is I don't even know why I feel this way! It's just... unnatural. I'm someone who's thrived on friendships all my life. Now they're all ripped away from me, some in the most painful ways possible.

I've never felt more lonely in my life.

There's got to be somebody for me out there, right? I can't be like this all my life. But I don't know where to look, where to begin. Maybe I have to look within myself first? It feels like I've been doing that all the time but maybe I've gone wrong somewhere.

Maybe I'm looking in all the wrong places. The places where people will care for their own skin more than for their friends'. The places where cliques are so strong I can't break in.

I hate the word 'cliques'. I absolutely detest it. It's a disgusting concept, it really is. It just basically means, "we don't want you here, go away." What the hell, you know?

I think I'll go out there and make a point. I'm not going to eat with anybody for the next few weeks. Let's see who cares and who doesn't. Let's see who bothers. Because if nobody does, then I'd know, wouldn't I?

I really am worthless.

---

God, please help me? I'm at a loss for what to do. I really am. I want to give up but I know I can't. I don't know what I should do. I don't even know what I can do. Help me please. It's all I'm asking for.

I'm sorry for all the shit I've been giving you. I know I'm not the best guy around. And I know sometimes I block you off completely. But Father just reach back to me, please. Because I'm reaching to You now.

I know I sound really hypocritical. I know I'm completely undeserving. I know this sounds damn superficial. But Lord just read my heart and see what's in there. See what's torturing it so, please.

I love you, Dad. It feels good telling You all this. Read my blog post too, would You?

My Father in heaven, holy is Your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give me this day my daily bread, and forgive my trespasses, as I forgive those who trespass against me. And lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil.

Thank you, God. Thank you, Father. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, best friend.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

---

You know;

I really do miss you, more than words could ever say.

I wish things were back to how they were. But can things ever go back to how they were?

I don't know. And it's killing me.

2011-05-08T17:51:00.002+08:00

I am so bloody ticked off right now. Seriously. Why the hell does my brother have such a big mouth? Yesterday go blab that we're buying something for my mother.

So all I do is ask him "Why did you go and tell mummy? Didn't I tell you specifically not to tell you?" And he suddenly has this wretched expression on his face, throws his hands up into the air and cries, "Okay la now my fault again la!"

Then my mother asks him what's wrong and cause it's supposed to be a secret he says nothing. But my mother being the stubborn FOOLISH woman she is just keeps on pressing and pressing and when he says don't want to tell her, she says "okay if you don't tell me then you can't go cycle". Which IS FREAKING STUPID because he starts crying even worse. So when I go out and try to console him and tell him to stop crying, my mom asks me. And she won't give up so I have to tell her in the end.

So, all in all, a f**ked up surprise and a screwed up Mother's Day in general. FML la. What the hell is wrong with me such that I keep screwing up everything I try to plan. THIS FREAKING SUCKS. I'm DAMN PISSED OFF.

Oh and my mom found the cakes in the fridge too. Sigh. Mood all gone already. Seriously. Screw. This. Shit.

---

Okay Terraqua. Damn fun, damn tiring. Not much else to say other than Miscellaneous nearly won, lost by only one point. I tsk at Amanda Teo and Shakila Feroz Khan. Yes.

So yes anyway after nearly a full day of games and sand and sea went over to Eddie's house to pick up stuff then cabbed home.

Looking forward to the next edition next year!

---

And we fast forward, fast forward till today.

Sigh I don't know why I feel so snappy today. It's like I have no friends. Damn irritating. The people I try to love don't appreciate it. And you know the old adage, "you don't know what you've got until it's gone"? I don't think they'll be affected by it. You know, I question myself this all the time. Who will remember me when I'm gone? I don't think anybody will.

Even though I keep trying, over and over, to just make a difference in my friends' lives. But no, they've got cooler friends, so I'm left behind, face down in the dust.

Screw this la I'm close to giving up anyway.

Goodbye.

2011-05-05T00:06:00.010+08:00

Hi, I'm officially 18 now. I feel surprisingly underwhelmed!

Maybe it's cause all the celebration happened on Sunday. Had a BLAST. Thank you everyone for coming and making my first real birthday celebration such an awesome time!

After church reached the chalet at about 5? To setup everything and make sure people didn't get lost. By the way since pictures speak a thousand words, this'll be a photo post mainly (:

Early birds! (Pun on Bertrand's shirt not intended at all haha) Thank you Eddie and Bert for coming early to help!

Then slowly people started trickling in until it got pretty crowded so dinner! Food was awesome, I heard, although I hardly ate anything for myself ): But it's alright at least everyone else had some! Thank you Sheldon for saying grace.

Then yeah just basically walking around entertaining people making sure they were well fed and all. Thank God for the great weather and the great food and the great fellowship! Couldn't have done anything without Him.

We went to the beach for awhile! And my friends being my friends decided to bury me in sand so there I am with everyone around me looking pretty happy that I was down there. It was comfortable though! Hahaha. Oh and yes AT THE BEACH I LANDED A FRONT FLIP :O I was so proud of myself! Yay me. ^^

Yes by then it was pretty late so... headed back to the chalet and cleaned off all the stupid sand covering us! I think Karyl had a crap load of fun then spraying us with water HAHA. Unglam alert!

Then (albeit pretty late) came the awesome cake! Shoutout to my bro Kang Wei all the way in Australia: THANKS DUDE. It really was damn awesome omg (: So yes, Awfully Chocolate!

That basically rounded everything up! So now, pictures ^^

Hello all you dancers! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME K thanks for coming for my birthday celebration! Looking forward to Youth Sunday right! I know I am (: <3 y'all!

ElGeeeeee! Love you guys too you're like my extended family in church man. Stay really really retarded but really really fun kay! <3

Hi Nick Chevy and Zven! Thanks for coming down too I hope you guys had fun! Nuer ah nuer choose the guys you date carefully alright (:

Hello Lighthouse! You guys are awesome haha even though I don't know all of you that well I'm thankful that you guys came down! Hope you guys had a blast even though I didn't know where you guys were half the time =\ Make sure my brother doesn't bully you guys kay!

Awww won't you look at that sweet couple. I'm sorry for being so lamppost! (:

Hello Tamtams! You guys must be one of the most bonded/bimbo LGs I've ever seen. Keep the craziness going yeah! Thanks for coming (: And thanks for the awesome present too!

Aye you Sec 4s! Thanks for coming even though most of you guys had exams the coming day or choir practice. All the best for your O levels kay (except for that girl on the left who doesn't have O levels lucky you (: )! <3 you guys!

And of course, the voters! You guys excited about this coming Saturday? Thank you all for coming too (:

Agh I didn't get a photo with Kelyn I only just realised! :O Oh well that'll do. The Phua sisters! Thanks for coming hahah even though you guys were suuuuper late I hope you guys had fun! (: Stay cool yo. ^^

There seems to be one picture missing, hmm...

Ah right there you are. MY FAMILY IN SCHOOL. THANK YOU FOR COMING DOWN EVEN THOUGH HALF OF YOU WERE LATE. You guys are seriously AWESOMEEEEE STAY THAT WAY KAY! (: <3 YOU GUYSSSSS.

---

So ended the awesome birthday celebration of 01-05-2011. People just started trickling away and I took even more photos that are on Facebook so go see if you wanna!

Then after that only 7 of us remained. Karyl, Kelyn, Lydia, Eddie, Zven, Nick and me. And me brother. We spent a shitlot of time walking/skateboarding haha. The original plan was to like, go to skatepark and fool around but when we got there it was super crowded and everyone else was damn pro. :O So we walked all the way past the chalet to Macs to grab a bite. But Kelyn and Lydia were dead on their feet so I walked them all the way back to the chalet! Where they miraculously revived and started playing Raving Rabbids. Ahh the Wii was so underused!

The rest came back awhile later so we just continued talking until 5am+++ before finally crashing. Next day came quick enough and soon I was saying bye to everybody except for Nick Eddie and my bro.

Then comes Terraqua! But that's a story for another day. (: With even more pictures!

---

Once again, thank you EVERYBODY who came for my birthday celebration. I shall attempt naming everyone here.

Chevlene Nuer!

Karyl Phua!

Zven Sia-la!

Bertrand Tan!

Loo Cheng Yi!

RachieK!

Rebecca Heng!

Abigail Chia!

Edward Goh!

Amanda Teo!

Loo Liang Jie!

Sng Yong Jie!

Wen Ya!

Lydia Tan!

Kelyn Phua!

Sarah Chang!

Shakila Feroz Khan!

Alicia Lee!

Clarice Tan!

Samantha Wong!

Loo Liang Zhi!

Mabel Ang!

Andrew Goh!

Rachel Lee!

Bryan Chan!

Lester Lim!

Eunice!

Hui Zhen!

Deborah Chew!
Anne Mahendran!

Han Qi!

Enoch Chua!

Jessica Chew!

Jeslyn Shen!

Isaiah!

Carol!

Nicholas Teo!

Graham Andrew Rozario!

Marcus Khoo!

Nick Koh!

Tan Guan Rong!

Nicole Chan!

Lim Shuen!

Keivin Cheng!

Ang Chen Xiang!

Khong Zhi Wei!

Jing Sheng!

Keefe Tan!

Calvin Ethan Khor!

Melvyn Thaddeus Koe!

Ernest Ong!

Vera Yap!

Lam Chi Tun!

Tan Hao!

Clement Chua!

Yes I think that's it (: Woo that's a long list of people :O Thank you everyone once again!

And thank you everybody for your amazing presents!

Karyl Kelyn Lydia for the T-shirt.

Chen Xiang and Zhi Wei for the other T-shirt!

Bryan Mabel Rachel Lee Andrew Eddie for the Adidas stuff (bottle, deo, shower gel!)

Liang Zhi and Cheng Yi for the awesome bag!

Rebecca for the sweets <3 they're awesome!

Amanda Sarah Liang Jie Yong Jie Kyle Alicia for the as yet unfinished trio of presents!

Isaiah and Carol for the gift vouchers!

Trackers for the ANGRY BIRD OMG (:

Guan Rong for the band!

Chi Tun for the banana HAHA.

Jeslyn Bert for the cold hard cash!

I seriously loved all of them haha.

But thanks also goes out to my family because they're so awesome they spend a crapload of money on this chalet for me. THANK YOU MOM AND DAD (: LOVE YOU GUYS.

And I love you, my extended family from church/track. We're just too good already ^^

---

Bye bye blog I shall go and sleep, see you tomorrow!

Yesterday really does seem like such a blur OMG I never wanted that weekend to end I had so much fun! (: Yayyyyyy all of us.

I'm happy.

2011-04-29T22:53:00.002+08:00

Hello everybody! Today was fun (:

Really short day of school -- supposed to end at 11.30 save for extra lessons. But it was fun nonetheless. Played soccer for afternoon PE, I haven't really lost my touch! :D Scored two goals too whee. Bio extra lesson was really fun too we got crammed into a class with only space for 18 tables but it was really cozy and nice. Although sometimes I do get a tad bit disturbed by the 3 gays always sitting next to me (I'M KIDDING KAY GUYS DON'T KILL ME (: )

Supposed to have track team debrief but they scheduled it at 5 omg so freaking late so I gave it a miss. Went home to shower then went out again to study in church.

Church was awesome la! I thought I'd be the only one there but in the end Lester Han Qi Enoch Jessica and Wen Ya appeared from thin air. So I got some work done (yay me that's an improvement already) and had fun!

I'm going to grow fat omg finished nearly a whole tub of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough on my own urgh.

I shall go running tomorrow! Then worship practice at night. Oh yeah there's math study session with Leonard too. :\ another busy day yay I like busy days. They keep my mind from wandering.

I was thinking of changing the tagline of my blog... but the more I think about it the more apt I think it is. Makes so much sense! So yes I shan't change it.

Twitter has become very weirdly fun nowadays, I'm already nearing T2K haha.

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I CANNOT WAIT FOR SUNDAY HOMG -hyperventilates- Wootwoot!

<3 my family (:

2011-04-19T20:41:00.003+08:00

So I haven't posted in quite awhile.

Don't know why I've been so tired like recently but well, it's been screwing around with my brain my goodness. I keep on thinking retarded thoughts about like, how I'm so mediocre and useless and good-for-nothing.

And kept overthinking about how one of the few friends I really trust and treat like a sister doesn't give a shit about me. I was wrong. So I'm out here apologizing for good -- I'm sorry, ________! You know who you are; I never meant to put you through everything and I know you don't deserve it. Forgive me for any dumb stuff I might say; like, whack me on the head if you hear a word from my mouth about anything stupid!! Stay awesome kay, you really are. (:

WARNING: All the Bieber haters go away! I'm now an official Belieber. Watched Never Say Never with three awesome people on Thursday, Chevy Karyl and Eddie. And it totally changed my perception of Justin Bieber.

Because originally I thought he only sang songs like Baby, which I felt were quite... lame, to be honest. But now he has songs like Pray and Born to Be Somebody, plus his voice is pretty great so why not?

Justin Bieber is now cool in my eyes (Y).

I can't wait for tomorrow and Thursday, really. And of course there's TGIGF!! Yay I'm so psyched right now. Tomorrow there's PE when we'll actually be playing games, Thursday is a super short day and there's dance/worship practice (two of the things I just enjoy doing) and then what's there to say for TGIGF! <33333 This week is a win, even though I've had so many shitty emotions.

I shall make it a point to revive my blog right now. I need a history man -- wanna see just how far I've come/will go. Because I was born to be somebody;

---

I need someone to help me redesign my blog! It's so boring =\ Any offers? Ahahahaha.

2011-02-18T00:46:00.002+08:00

Well so me and my parents got into some lame fight again. Over something so insignificant it's almost laughable. Almost.

So in the morning, I forget to bring my earphones out of the house, and I call my mom to help me bring them out. I wait for her for ten minutes at the traffic light, she hasn't come yet, so I think "okay, why not wait for her at the bus stop since she's going to pass by the place anyway." So I go to the bus stop and sit down and read Newsweek.

And then my dad comes out, doesn't see my mom either so he's like waiting at the steps looking out for her, when we both hear my mom calling from the other side of the road. I'm like all "oh shit!" so I get up and walk over. Supposedly, episode over, right?

WRONG.

So now it's past midnight, and apparently I was completely in the wrong! Hmm, I wonder why? Okay yes granted I made my mom walk up and down looking for me but yes I apologize. But then my dad goes on and on about how I always wait to get served (yeah right I went to sit down because I knew at the time that she would walk pass!).

I really don't get it. Doesn't everyone make assumptions now and then? And it wasn't even as though this assumption was like, out of this world, like she's going to be at the bus stop opposite Tampines North. No, she normally walks out by the stairs so I wait for her there, what's the crime in that?

I don't get it at all zzz.

2011-02-08T17:02:00.002+08:00

So I guess I haven't posted or blogged in quite some time, haiz.

Feeling quite sian right now and I guess nobody comes to this blog anymore, so I guess I can rant here pretty safely (:

I'm starting to feel pretty damn friendless again. It's always this bunch of people, and me. Them, and me. I never really feel part of anything and the worst part is I don't know why! Even the new friends I make are the same...

So I really have no idea what to do! I just need to find a friend/group of friends that I can really really click with and just talk to about all the shit that's going on and all.

There's gotta be somebody for me out there.

And okay just a public announcement to all the girls I know -- Just because I repeatedly send SMSes without waiting for replies doesn't mean I like you/am irritating okay! ): I just.. have a phobia about people not replying messages, it makes me wonder what I've done wrong. I don't know why either, maybe cause of bad past experiences but yeah, it's just like that! SO PLEASE DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS ><

---

I need to change; and fast. Otherwise second chances aren't going to last.

2011-01-11T21:38:00.001+08:00

Hey all! I cooked dinner today!

Beef stew with sourdough bread. So yes the stir-frying of the beef stew was super painful! Cause of all the oil burns and all and now for some reason my hands are a bit numb... hmm.

But the beef stew wasn't too shabby at all! For someone with no cooking experience, at least. (:

So yes!

Pictures will be on Facebook if I find the time/energy hee.

2010-12-26T00:16:00.002+08:00

Christmas has come and gone and I feel like it hasn't really.

Honestly, this year has been way too rushed. And next year it's already A level year. I don't even know how time passes this quickly, it's as though I'm aging twice as fast as compared to in secondary school.

But this year I've made my fair share of friends, and had more than a few fallouts with supposed friends. I guess it's all in God's time? But I'll continue to work on the current friendships that I have and of course on making myself a better person. It's always the journey, never the end, cause the end isn't anywhere near (:

Christmas this year wasn't much of an affair, just service (which I hardly heard anything at because I was rushing about the whole of Pasir Ris/Tampines finding wallets that I left in bags -- another story) and then after that lunch with LG at Buddy Hoagies (which wasn't the greatest cause I was super super super tired). Went home and crashed and in doing so, nearly completely missed Enoch's Christmas party cause I couldn't wake up. But thank God for my parents, they actually wanted to have dinner with me but when I told them I wanted to go for the party they sent me all the way there in a cab (: I reallyreally heart my parents.

But looks like the new year's coming soon! Time to start thinking up resolutions and all already hee. And well, the holidays still have tons of activities coming up! 2LG kayaking, FIFA 10 Cage soccer, New Year's dinner, Watchnight Service, ahhh I'm getting pretty excited about it all.

Learn to love, love to learn. I think that's gonna be my motto next year :D

---

BIG SHOUTOUT TO EVERYONE WHO MADE THIS YEAR AN AWESOME ONE FOR ME. (: LOVE YOU GUYS AND OF COURSE YOU SURELY KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

2010-12-20T11:07:00.002+08:00

Okay since I'm so damn bored at home, I decided to write a post! Yay me.

What has happened since camp... TOFU was also a job well done by the TOFU team and I'm really really encouraged by their progress as a batch (: Congratulations guys! The whole day was honestly extremely fun and I'm sorry I kinda screwed up your timetabling. But all's well that ends well! (:

After that was the Retreat Camp (hahaha that sounds so similar to Raffles Institution Secondary School LOL). Which was pretty fun, managed to do some good bonding with the people in my LG whom I hardly hang out with, so that's awesome (: And yeah got to know more Christians from all walks of life! So yes that's great too :D

Okay I know my posts don't do the events justice but seriously I'm too sian to type out so much heh so yes pictures are on Facebook! And since Facebook never deletes anything from its site, I guess history's printed in ink eh?

I'm still sick omg from after TOFU I don't believe this I NEED TO RECOVER so I can sing properly! And later still going over to Eddie's house to sleepover/get ready for LG Xmas party tomorrow. Hmmmm fun much but I hope I recover GOD HEAL ME PLEASE.

Finally, God, I've failed again and you know it. Help me change please? That demon is still struggling with the Holy Spirit inside of me. In Jesus' name, demon, GET OUT. I command you, fool. Get out.

There, I'm done. (: SCII with MK now!

2010-12-09T17:59:00.002+08:00

FIFA 2010 was an amazing success, and it really is all thanks to God. Although I only came back on the 3rd day of camp, I still could feel God moving in our midst and working wonders in our hearts and minds.

Zhng'ed was great too, the weather forecast claimed that it would rain in the late morning but God was gracious and He held back the rain until after the whole activity was finished -- just have to say thank you, Lord, for that. And then the next day the capstone activity progressed nearly without any hitches at all, so that's something to thank God for too.

But most importantly I want to thank God for being so amazing and so awe-inspiring especially during the time immediately after Omega 2.0. Having read through the list of people being called out I realized that many pairs of great friends had been broken up, but after they were reunited, that feeling of guilt and loneliness didn't just slide away and disappear. People were crying, hugging, saying "I'm sorry I didn't help you", and that really made everything all the more beautiful. The attitude everyone had was just amazing -- even those who went down early found ways to get their phones and messaged the people in the chapel who didn't make it. Even though it was just a game, they still did it. I really marvel at the wonder of God's most beloved creation.

Serving in the camp committee this time round certainly has been an eye-opening experience for me, and I did enjoy myself vastly doing all sorts of odd jobs in addition to the camp file(although I still think I'd prefer being a group leader or something like that). I've learnt/grown so much, and I just pray that everyone else has learned tons too, and that we will never forget the lessons we picked up these 5 days.

Now that FIFA 2010 is over, there's only caroling left to look forward to, so look forward to it I shall. (:

<3 y'all, PMCers. <3 you, God. You make life worthwhile. So help me not return to my old ways, help me break free from whatever is tying me down or holding me back. I will prevail against sin; we will prevail against the devil. Let not his stupid attempts at attacking us and undermining us succeed. Please God, keep us strong. Thank you.

2010-12-06T22:00:00.001+08:00

You know, after the rushed farewell/disbanding at the airport I was super high cause I was on my way home, but after awhile this feeling of regret and sian-ness came over me. What else could we have done in Australia? How I wish we could have spent more time there seeing the sights and hearing the sounds, but I guess there's a time for everything under the sun. I just feel the moments passed by too quickly, but now it's all over, and only memories remain. Laughing at people over meals, making tons of noise while playing cards, going for runs in the morning, doing retarded stuff and all; I'm so going to miss all that. But I really want to thank everyone who's made my first trip to Australia such a memorable one, so here it is -- a shoutout to my UWA trip friends, for making it such an awesome experience, even though sometimes I was super angsty and all. (:

There's a bit more at the end, so don't just close the note once you've read your part! :D

Deanna -- Hey you, silent warrior. It's been cool getting to know you (and your almighty ornithophobia haha just kidding) Just wanted to say thanks for like, caring about whether I was pissed that day and all. I was kinda down in the dumps and when someone asks if you're okay it really makes a difference, so thanks. (: 1v1 basketball was also really very fun, not to mention your attempt at sharing the Word with Ms. Chan. Really very commendable (Y) "If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" - Ecclesiastes 4:10. Just pray that God'll continue to strengthen this friendship and that it won't just fade away after the end of the trip. (: And of course, all the best for your national team basketball and other sports whatever there may be. Keep the faith!

Shijin -- Sup Shijin! Hahha you're like, forever high and all, except when you're cranky/sleepy, so I really want to thank God for your personality and all. You've been really friendly throughout the whole trip especially when I asked you about stuff and all so yupyup it's been really nice. Really hope you have fun going to Shanghai for the first time! I haven't been there myself but I'm sure you'll have an awesome few days pigging out and shopping for stuff over there. -HINT- if you see a Spain jersey cheap get it for me! :D :D :D Continue being a really bubbly person and good luck in your walk with God! (:

Teri -- Teriiii! Haha I had heard so much about you before this trip from the soccer guys I really didn't know what to expect, but nonetheless you still managed to break past all expectations. I think the coolest part about you is that you're able to just talk to anybody at all and they won't be like uncomfortable talking back to you. Really, all the best for soccer and all! Hope your friends you made in Australia like Rob and all don't fade away and that they'll continue to talk to you. Hahha Teri's celebrity friends, nice one la. Keep talking to people and who knows what'll happen (:

Wen Zheng -- HEY MAN. Once again you're like, my closest friend on this trip and I wanna thank God veryvery much for your presence. It's been what, 7 years and I really don't know what'd happen to me without you. Okay this is starting to sound gay but I hope you get my meaning. "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." Proverbs 27:5-6 And honestly that's what I'd say describes your attitude towards me, you're always honest about what you think I'm doing wrong and all, so thank you for that. Hope Australia has treated you well and yeah continue being an awesome buddy.

Joshua Suwe -- Hey Suwe! Nothing much to say here actually just wanted to thank you for standing up for me before Top Gun that day. I really don't know how much of it you were exaggerating but if you weren't then I'm really very very grateful. (: I hope you know how much it means to me! Continue being an awesome guy and all the best with soccer next year (:

Ping Yen -- Hey roommate! Hahaha hope you've had an awesome time in Australia, even though I locked you out of my room a couple of times >< It's been fun playing basketball/laughing at people with you and just hope that you'll continue to be a fun-loving retarded guy although your face is so want-to-fight-with-people. (: All the best with soccer next year too, your optimism is a complete juxtaposition of Wendy's pessimism. All the way man.

Jia Xing -- HEY DUDE. I know we had some rough spots this week but I'm glad that I came to know you better through all the stuff we've been through. Your fun-loving attitude really helped to liven the proceedings and I know although people laugh at you a lot for being blur and all, you're still an awesome guy at heart. Like a toy grizzly bear, you know? Big and fierce on the outside but really awesome on the inside. (: Rock on, dude.

Pei Yin -- HELLO headshot girl! Hope you've respawned enough to understand what I'm trying to say here. Thanks for lending me your camera and all over the last day! I'm like, some pro photographer right :D Hahahha. Although we didn't talk much it's been really very fun so thanks for everything (: God bless in everything you do!

Shawn Yong -- HEY SHAWN you bufflord. Thanks for letting us destroy your room over and over just to play DotA/FIFA 11. You're a really nice guy and I think everyone knows that so yeah don't change! HAHA (: It's been great getting to know you and all. (Y)

Guan Rong -- EH BOSS! Hahaha I know I hardly talked to you during this trip and all but all the same hope you had fun and everything. I bet you we'll have missed shitloads by the time we get back to training and I'll have to miss another one on Wednesday (CRAP I'm getting fat) cause of church camp. Hehe at least I go for runs in the nice cool air in the mornings while you don't nyeahhhhh. Oh well! (: When I did talk to you though, it was funz like yesterday night when you guys were sorting out like your billion packets of chocolates. See you at training man, I am SO FREAKING GOING TO GET INTO THE TEAM NEXT YEAR RAWR. Tsk, such great attitude from me, what to do? :P Jusss (:

Douglas -- Hey man really not much to say here considering we hardly talked during the trip, but just wanted to let you know that you can be a really very nice guy. (: And even though I seemed pissed at you that day or whatever I really wasn't so don't worry about it (: All the best for fencing and all, keep up the lively attitude to everyone!

Vanessa -- HEY VAN. Hahaha even though we didn't really talk much this trip I can tell you're a pretty cool person with your camera and all. So, yeah, good luck with soccer training (especially the match against VJ this coming Wednesday) and yeah God bless!

Thank you, everyone, once again for making the UWA trip such an awesome one, you guys are totally awesome. Totally awesome, y'hear? <3 y'all.

(:

there's no getting over you

2010-12-05T23:05:00.001+08:00

Okay now for a reflective time of emoshizzness. Or actually just a time for reflection.

I know I can't please everyone in life. It's definitely a fact -- I guess God made a "set" of friends for me? But I keep wondering why these friends are so few and far between. Like so far I've really met only a handful, and I just don't know why I can't talk to or click with anyone else. Even certain people I thought would be really good friends turned out... not to be so.

So what can I do? I keep asking myself, what am I doing wrong. But somehow I never am able to find the answer. Okay actually sometimes I'm pretty successful at doing that; I learn from my mistakes pretty darn well. But like, I guess sometimes I also need people to tell me what I'm doing wrong! I hardly find people like that nowadays, they just kind of clam up and run away.

But there's nothing I can do to change the mindsets of other people right. So I guess it's up to myself to make things work out. I just hope that any new friendships that I have forged won't crumble and the new friends I made won't freak out at how I'm like and run away, but actually just help me to become a better person -- that's really all I want in life.

Maybe my life will be more purposeful if I make it my purpose to become a better person. I guess I should quantify it, not just leave it as a abstract ideal hanging in the air. Okay that's what I'll do, and with God there beside me holding me up in His almighty hand, I will succeed. I will.

I just have to fight away the demons of insecurity. There's nothing left for it, because insecurities only breed more insecurities. Like, it's quite dumb that life works like that but that's how it is.

Just wanna say thank you to the friends that have been there for me, always. I really thank God for you guys and well, just continue being there yeah? <3 y'all.

2010-12-05T21:50:00.002+08:00

Hello once again. I last posted on... Thursday right? So now I have to catch up on three days worth of posts. Looks like this is going to be a longgg blog entry.

Top Gun was really awesome. Okay, maybe not so much the movie, but more like the people. Had a fun chat with Suwe/Pei Yin/Deanna and Shijin about how screwed up I was in the past. But at least I know they're on my side/okay with me. The weather in the park was damn freezing cold though, couldn't do much but watch because I couldn't even fall asleep. But the "sofa" they gave us was really cool and yeah it was quite fun luh, glad I didn't waste it (:

Went for another morning jog on Saturday, this time with more people -- it was extremely fun heh. The waters also had more jellyfish =\ tons of them were lying on the beach dead.

After that... oh yes we went on a "tour" to uh, the Botanical Gardens! To play minigolf (which I really suck at hehe) and then the Caversham wildlife park. Originally I thought it would be really lame and all? But like, after awhile (and after petting the kangaroos) it was really very very fun :D

Went to Broadway IGA (which is a supermarket fyi) to shop for awhile after that while the soccer guys went to kick around with the university soccer players. Shopping wasn't too bad bought quite a bit of stuff to bring back to Singapore.

I hate it when my insecurities start to creep back in. Like I begin to think people don't like me, think that there's a problem with the way I carry myself, think that people are talking behind my back, you know, whether they put on a front when talking to you and all. And I HATE the way it screws with my head. I never know what to think, I never know if what I'm doing is the right thing. Is there even a right thing at all?

Oh well nothing for it I'll just live the way I do and if anyone finds something wrong with it and voices it out, I'll change. But if they wanna keep it quiet and all, then never mind, their loss (:

Ordered pizza back! So went to play basketball with Deanna for a bit while waiting for the soccer boys. Nothing much else that night, other than when we were writing our reflections and talking about stuffz.

Sunday morning! Mr. Lee didn't go running cause he had to take blood pressure of the girls, so Deanna and I went to shoot hoops/play 1v1. Unsurprisingly, I got owned. Hehe but practice makes perfect I guess. :D Went for breakfast then hmm oh yes tour to Cottesloe beach and Fremantle, which wasn't as fulfilling as first thought. I hope the tour guide didn't take too much offense at our nonchalant attitude though -- we were pretty apathetic about everything >< Still spent 50 bucks though! On like a handmade leather belt 8D NICE and nougats and all. You guys back in Singapore are going to grow fat on the stuff I bought hahahahha.

Came back to the hostel for the last night here, some of the guys went out again to IGA to buy more stuff. I was angsting so I didn't want to go but when they came back I started regretting not going cause they bought tons and tons of cheap stuff which you'll never see in Singapore D: sadface! Still, didn't do much but play tennis soccer (funnn) and eat dinner. And now here I am typing on my keyboard this blog entry.

Tomorrow's the last day we're going to be here and then it's home sweet home Singapore. Although I'll be out of the house first thing on Tuesday morning cause of church camp. I really hope it's been an awesomazing success so far :D

2010-12-03T16:54:00.002+08:00

Hey blog. Yesterday was really fun. Woke up at 7.45 and rusheddd for breakfast/shower and all before heading down to UWA for a lecture on the effect of heat on hydration. It was pretty alright although some of us started to doze off and Mr. Lee had to pass around the video camera just to keep us awake.

Lunch was awesome my goodness -- fish and chips, fried rice, stir fried chicken, chicken casserole, so niceeee hahah. I actually felt really bad that we flamed the chefs so badly about the not so great food they provided but I hope they didn't take it to heart too much. I know they're extremely proud of their cooking, I would be too.

Afternoon session was a lab session where Deanna, Wendy and Suwe rode bicycles/ran in cool temperature before all of us headed into a temperature chamber with 33 degree heat and 90% humidity -- kind of like an exaggerated Singapore. It was so much like a sauna my gosh all of us were sweating buckets.

After that... went straight to some shopping street in the city to shop for like an hour and a half. Bought jeans for like, less than 30AUD and boxers for 9AUD and a tank for 7AUD and a shirt for 11AUD. Super cheap can I think I've become a shopping master already ahahahah just kidding. Oh I got you your 70% dark chocolates for like, super cheap you better thank me.

There was this musical theater/theater competition after that, nationwide finals -- Storm the Stage. The performers were really good but I felt that some moments were a bit awkward/out of place. Especially the emo/angry acts. But kudos to each and every one of the performers they were seriously very professional. There was this really funny act where this guy used a puppet (Avenue Cue, is it?) and did a song about how he hasn't found his purpose in life. I really think I identify with that totally. Got a picture with him before he left though! Hahah. The show ended at about what, 10.30? So by the time we got back we were all really tired heh.

Got up at like 6 this morning to go for a morning jog with Mr. Lee, Deanna, Pingz and Suwe. The weather was how freaking cold but it was superrr refreshing and all, so it was alright. Scenery was really nice too and all. Then when we got back went to a bakery with awesome pizza bread, popped by the petrol kiosk, then headed over to the pharmacy to get me Ventolin -- 9 AUD only! How much cheaper compared to Singapore man.

Today was a bit dry though, lecture in the morning about motor control and like reflexes and expertise in stuff. I still can't believe (actually maybe I can) that I lost to Deanna in terms of reaction time. She hit 1.28ms while I only did 1.44ms. Oh well!

Lunch was pretty good too but yeah by the time the afternoon session started I was really tired and of course when I'm tired I start overthinking stuff and all. I think I'm sometimes way too competitive for my own good, but I guess it's normal when you see yourself doing nothing well at all, while other people all have their pro areas. Like the soccer guys own at soccer, Deanna's pro at basketball, Douglas is a national fencer, but I'm nobody. So like, what's the point of trying my best at everything when my best is never nearly enough, right?

But that's just me rambling, I keep on telling myself that God takes me for who I am and that I have my own awesome gifts, but like, I still haven't found them I guess. Like, idk what they are at all. Maybe I have a knack for irritating people. Maybe I have a knack of scaring people until they decide to end their friendships with me, I don't know. Just'll have to find out I guess.

At least I found a group for sports science. The people I wanted to work with are all in groups of 4 already so tough luck there, but at least I think working with Teri and Van won't be too bad at all. (: Looking forward to it actually, although now cause I'm emo maybe not that much.

Later we're heading off to King's Park to lie down on beanbags and watch Top Gun and all, so hopefully it'll be a fun experience. Unless I'm too tired to even stay awake and I fall asleep, heh then that'll be pretty darned fail.

Time to while away another 20 minutes of my life without any friends. I miss you, you know?

Seeya, blog.

2010-12-01T00:00:00.002+08:00

Today was really cool too. Although yesterday we slept super late so a bit tired.

Morning went for a jog at like 6.30, the sun was up already but the weather was really nice. Ran alongside the river -- scenery was awesome, sparkling waters and comfortable grass.

Then breakfast was pretty alright too before we headed down to the School of Sports Science, Exercise and Health to attend a lecture on Biomechanics of Injury and all. Pretty disgusting how legs can hyperextend into horrible disgusting positions. Then walk back, lunch was quite alright (hee I tend to say this a lot).

But the afternoon session was really cool. The professor showed us the sports science lab with its force plates and 3D cameras and all -- how expensive can. Then he attached like these reflective nodes onto different parts of my body and recreated a 3D me from the cameras. Just lines though, nothing too fantastical.

And then there was this electrical impulse sensor which he attached to Pei Yin (now officially called Pink) to see how the muscles react to weights and movements and all. Naiz much.

Then went for a tour of the grounds, I think University of Western Australia has a really really nice place. Oh, the irony. It's completely open to the public, so it's a community university, but it's also a elite university. Hahahhaa. Went all the way up the 13 floor clocktower and played soccer too! Fun fun fun I've lost everything -- ball sense, positioning, off the ball running -- except for my reflexes <3 Thank God.

Came back to the hostel to play more basketball (ahhh how I wish I were taller but oh well I shall be content with my God-given height) and then dinner (which omg sucked except for the Cajun fish (Y) ) Then Mr. Lee gave us this tutorial on how to use this program which captures video and analyses it, like angles and time changes and everything. Think it'll come in useful for the project although I haven't found my group. Come to think of it, I actually wanna work with a couple of people. Heh just hope they don't mind!

Yeah then lep-sed at the Lounge playing Texas and Saboteur and Taiti before now coming back to my room and typing this long stuff out.

Going to sleep soon I guess! Just hope nobody at home misses me too much =X hahaha. Looking forward to tomorrow, another really tiring really long REALLY FUN DAY.

Night all (:

2010-11-30T07:38:00.000+08:00

Hey all morning update! Just finished a slow jog outside the hostel, the river scenery is really super nice. Gonna have a long day today! Breakfast then lecture/tutorial. (: Funz. Seeya!

2010-11-29T23:50:00.002+08:00

Hey everybody. First day in Australia, St. Catherine's College (University of Western Australia). It's been a pretty uneventful day -- all we did was check in and have dinner and leps. But it was a good day all the same.

Flight SQ223 at 9.30 was quite uneventful, the two air stewards were pretty hilarious but really good fun. OH the fish was really good some weird green sauce but it tasted niceeee. Watched Step Up 3 too, the moves are awesomazing omg. I don't believe some of them, to be honest. Just kidding they're all real. While descending I got a really splitting headache though. It was... pretty bad haha but it's okay now. (:

Hour-long bus ride to St. Cat's College with music blasting and everyone having a good time before dropping off in the 36" Celsius heat. Checked in, got our laptops set up for internet access, and then lepsed and had dinner. Walked over to the petrol kiosk (the streets look really very much like Singapore's -- same traffic light button, similar buses, similar roads, similar bus stops etc. But the food at the kiosk was seriously VERY expensive haha I have a bad feeling I'll lose a lot of money in the next week.

Mm we had a walk around the vicinity too! The shops all closed really early but some eateries looked promising so I hope I'll get the chance to taste whatever there is here (:

Had a good time playing Monopoly Deal with Shawn Wendy and Pingz, while watching football highlights -- The A-League is seriously technically pro. Naizz goals galore. Going to crash soon though! Tomorrow's a long day, starting at 6am for a slow jog before breakfast and a day of lessons about physiology etcetc. Looking forward to it. (:

Gotta go then! Ciao all. :D

2010-10-31T21:54:00.002+08:00

Time to breathe some life into this blog!

Yesterday was an awesome day. Out of the house from 9am to 12mn doing all sorts of church related stuff -- (Y).

Worship practice was pretty messy, although maybe partially cause it wasn't in the chapel and Liang Zhi's kinda new to it. But still great job praising God, great job LZ :D

Then PMC Cup 2010! Which was also really really fun; just wanna thank Wendy, Ping Yen, Suwe, Manfred, Aloy and Zi Xuan for making the effort to come down to East Coast Park just to play soccer. Even though we didn't win anything I hope you guys had fun and maybe got touched by God here or there! See you guys in school (:

A nice surprise to get top scorers of the tournament (outside of the trophy winners) though. Suwe and PY are deadlyyyyy.

And then after maybe an hour of leping around I went for LG barbecue! Which was also awesomely fun THANK YOU BERT AND JESLYN AND KYLE FOR ORGANISING. Looking forward to the next part of the series hehehe.

So yes we spent an hour waiting for April's dad to fetch us home (thanks Uncle!) and I reached home at a lovely time of 12.15. How fun yesterday was.

---

Now it's time to dedicate a post to my dear sister.

HEY SIS. Hope your A level preparation is going alright! Even though it's only H1 Chinese I know you've been working hard for it so yeah have faith that God will reward your faith in Him! Trust in Him to provide and just remember that whatever the outcome, it's all God's will and He'll be proud of you no matter what, because He loves us all, Amen!

So yes may He bless you with a calm heart and a peaceful outlook for tomorrow's paper; all the best.

<3, your bro!

---

I'm feeling very lukewarm about this week -- not dreading it, but not looking forward to it either. It seems like there's going to be a LOT of Project Work and Chinese. I really have to start working on Chinese. But seriously, how much worse can a C5 get? Hehehe. Oh well time to get down to business, boys.

At least there's afternoon PE tomorrow! Badminton... hmm. Grahhhh LET'S DO THIS GOD.

---

it was worth it in the end;

2010-10-21T00:53:00.001+08:00

IHC Track and Field, (Y).

IHC Bowling, (Y).

IHC Table Tennis, (Y).

Misunderstandings between friends, (N).

Not doing biology tutorial, (N).

Making new friends, (Y)(Y)(Y)!

2010-10-15T22:00:00.002+08:00

Hey ya'll! I know I haven't been active much but it's the thought that counts right?

Promos have been over for nearly two weeks now, but the past week hasn't been very relaxing either -- thanks to the existence of Project Work. It's been a horribly stressful and tiring week and I'm actually somewhat sick now. Okay, not just somewhat. But yeah oh well today was the OP dry run, it wasn't too bad actually! For a group that had only one day to prepare, we're awesome. So yes, <3 you guys. It's been a wonderful journey together.

Looking forward to the weekend and some good R&R though. So yes I promise myself I'm going to sleep soon.

Oh yes, I need to introduce you to Barney, my friendly purple laptop. :D He's an amazing kid! I was extremely surprised I could play Starcraft 2 on it hehe.

And yes, that's the update of my life so far! Just... a heck load of Project Work. Oh I'm going to be bowling for interhouse games with Chris Hwang hahahha but I suck so yes, I'm going to need some practice soon. Anyone up for a game with me? (:

Do tell me kay! AND FOR POSTERITY'S SAKE -- MY HANDPHONE CANNOT RECEIVE OR MAKE CALLS. So yes if need to contact me -- sms. Thank you very much much <3

Bye all! Sleep beckons. (:

2010-10-02T09:39:00.002+08:00

You're really awesome, you know. Thanks for always being around even if I get irritating or anything.

ONLY ONE MORE PAPER LEFT! I really really cannot wait for promos to be over but first, I have to make sure my chem is up to scratch. Which it isn't. So yes this weekend left. But since I've got the whole week freed up next week, does ANYBODY WANNA GO OUT AND DO STUFFZ?

I think this exam period has really brought me closer to God. And really, THANK GOD for pulling me through everything. (:

My computer's so boring nowadays there are no games to be played that are fun whatsoever. Grah.

---

We cry;

2010-09-20T23:26:00.001+08:00

A week more to promos. Grah. This is it. 8am to 10pm everyday in school LET'S DOOOO THIS.

I'm not perfect,
But I keep trying,
Cause that's what I said I would do from the start.

2010-09-12T19:00:00.002+08:00

Today wasn't an awesome day. I seem to be just going through the paces all the time. Week after week of monotony and like, just days passing by as the promos draw nearer. Gosh why does it feel so devoid of anything going on?

At least service this morning was pretty refreshing. And Marcus had this really meaningful line in his worship leading today --

"Thank God if you're disappointed in your friends, because it means that you have them."

And I just teared when I reflected on that line. You guys should know why.

Monopoly Deal is an awesome game I think I'll go buy it someday. (: Makes you think think think because there's so many possibilities.

I'm leading a life of drudgery, so I'm neither looking forward nor dreading next week. Hopefully things will be alright and all.

---

Camp Group outing was yesterday, FINALLY! After like, 3 months. Spent lunch at Pizza Hut making weird cheese names (hehe Shak) and burned our Haagen-Daaz vouchers on their fondue, which was really good. (: Love you guys, so here's a message to my dear camp group from O.M.G 2010.

HEY ALL. I know we only spent three days together at camp, but I'm really glad that we've gotten to know each other and stayed in touch after camp. Don't forget that you'll always have this group of friends, if not specifically us, then the whole YMpact, yeah? Keep on pushing on with God and with life.

---

Mahdi's flying off to the UK in a few hours! And I can't pass him my note so I'll type it out here.

MAHDI! It's been really awesome knowing you this past year. I'm sure you've had a ton of fun in school and in training. You've blessed the whole track team with your fun-loving attitude and none of us can possibly forget smashing eggs on our heads during track party after Nationals. You devious person (: Anyway, all the best in the UK and enjoy your time there yeah? Your presence will be missed by many people very very much. Take care alright? Stay happy and keep in touch!

Best wishes, David

---

Three days break already, Friday to Sunday; Tomorrow is going to be a start of the mugera. Let's do this. First step -- anybody wanna study with me? :D HAHA.

---

I still have this void in my life. Sad faceeeeee much. I'm going to fill it somehow.

But we can't;
We can't tell;
The future no;
The first kiss, the beauty of the world we know.

2010-08-26T12:53:00.004+08:00

Ahh I'm in PW now and there's absolutely nothing to do cause I don't know what I have to do hahaha. LEE GUAN LIN TELL ME FASTER LEH I'm damn bored :D

Anyway shall make a quick quick blogpost about YOG hehe because once again, pictures say athousand words. Which would make this blogpost maybe... 50 thousand words long.

Okay so yeah YOG Volunteering was really really fun! Bishan Stadium was an awesome team and I really had fun over there. AND I GOT MY SOUTH AFRICAN JERSEY HEHEHE WHEEEE. And made friends with a cool guy! Roelf Pienaar, congratulations on your bronze for YOG Long Jump, it's an awesome achievement! Really cool to meet you haha. Cheerios.

Okayyyy back to work...

UPDATE! Back to being bored during Project Work. Ohmygosh 2 hours of Econs later I don't believe it do you. D:

But after that I'm home free! To go studee! Heehee! Omg damn lame (:

Two more days to the weekend!

I realize I lose a lot of friends for no reason; like they'll suddenly just stop replying my smses or like, start ignoring me and all. And I have no clue why because they're all from different backgrounds and all. Am I doing something oh so wrong? D:

Man I must make my life a bit more interesting; a bit more worthwhile. Up to me I guess. And God. No more shit crap retardedness that He doesn't like. Must try and keep my promises, dude.

Youtube video, then! STREET DANCE SOUNDTRACK.

2010-08-20T15:57:00.003+08:00

I don't have anything to do, so I decided why not blog?

Anyway I've been having an okay day. Even though I still haven't gotten round to studying yet, which I promise myself I will after a game of DotA. But yeah my promises are like next to worthless so yes I MUST MAKE SURE I DO THIS PROPERLY.

Bio SPA was pretty retarded, why in the world were the values so unorthodox! But at least the theory side was alright. I don't get a single thing about math lectures, grah.

I was thinking this morning about what would happen if I stopped trying to maintain friendships, and I realized that I wouldn't have any friends left. Cause I feel (a lot of the time) that my friendships are all super one sided. It's all me trying to initiate conversations and trying to plan stuff and all. And nobody's reciprocating. It burns pretty bad -.-

Oh well I'm looking forward to YOG Athletics tomorrow! Yay finally can get my chance to meet people even pro-er than Calvin Khor. Hehe. Jerseys, here I come. On the sad side though I won't be able to go to church AT ALL this weekend! Grah so I'm going to make sure LG is fun today (:

And I'm pretty irritated cause I haven't gotten that bug away yet. Like it's always there waiting to come back and although I promised myself not to let it get to me it always does. Ugh. How do I get rid of you, stupid crap?

Anyway yes, like I said, game of DotA, then shower and go church mugggggggg. At least try la kay.

---

I loves this song.

2010-08-18T22:13:00.002+08:00

Arghhhh I don't believe this promotional examinations are in SIX WEEKS = 42 DAYS and I'm not even feeling the heat therefore I'm hardly studying! Actually hardly is an overstatement. I'm NOT studying AT ALL.

ARGH I need more motivation. ):

On a happy note! CONGRATULATIONS all you Chinese taking people who got back awesome results today. That refers to (to the best of my knowledge) Rachael Vic Joelle Carissa! Great job peoples, now time to chiong for prelims and O levels :D

My gosh NS is getting on my nerves, seriously. What's the point of a TEN THOUSAND buck fine for missing one deadline that's years in advance? Grah. And my STUPID computer cannot access the dumb Singpass webpage. Which means I have to use the school computer which means I have to go to the school library. -.- Sianz.

Chem SPA sucked.

---

HEY KARYL PHUA KAI LE. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU.

Don't be so sad that today didn't really make you as happy as you'd wanted it to! I'm sure other days will be better. And today is like, the day you celebrate God watching over you for 13 years already! So yeah cheer up kay. (:

You're now officially a teenager now; so yeah! Jiayou and all the best for the rest of the year in secondary 1. Seriously, you'll blink and secondary school will have passed you by so enjoy yourself now! But not too much; stay focused on exams yeah? And of course spend time with God! Continue growing in Him and wanting to get to know Him more and more. And may He bless you richly in return.

So yes even though you very apparently did not have that awesome a day, treasure it all the same! 13 is a year that will pass by veryyyyyy quickly. Hehe. GOD BLESS YOU.

Love, David! :D

---

My blog is so pointless ah. Only ranting and complaining. Haha my gosh. I need some cool stuffz and happiness in my life to blog about! Come onnnnnnnnn something!

2010-08-01T19:06:00.002+08:00

Festival of Praise was AWESOME can?

I think Ps. Che Ahn's sermon about hope really inspired many people, and Planetshakers and Don Moen are such God-given blessings for us. (: Not to mention the many new friends I met over both days of FoP.

There's always something in my heart that I really cannot verbalize. But I know that God knows and that's enough for me.

Pictures up soon! I totally cannot wait for next year's edition (:

Worship today was really fun! And I'm glad that Zhi Ting came over today haha. Come back next week yeah? Soccer after that wasn't so much fun, to be honest. Too restricted, too much pressure, I need TIME to express myself on the pitch! Don't shackle me pleaseeee?

I'm kind of dreading school? But it's only three and a half days, so I guess I can survive it. I guess. Project work is so irritating, my goodness. But it's part and parcel of life, what to do? That said I still have to catch up on work for math and bio and econs. My goodness I'm such a retard to let myself fall behind by so much. ): Sadface can?

---

On a side note! I've been feeling really very emo recently. I have no idea why. But haiz I'll just have to believe that God will make a way, yeah?

You are Awesome, Lord. You really are, and no matter what I might feel when I'm down, I hope You know that I will always believe in that in the deepest parts of my heart.

2010-07-27T21:47:00.005+08:00

OKAY SINCE I HAVEN'T DONE THIS FOR A WEEK and I'm free now, why not!

Anyway, I'm sorry for being so MIA I just don't feel the urge to blog nowadays cause life's so boring.

How ironic; 'Blogger' and 'blog' come out as misspelled words.

Youth Sunday was really fun, dancing and playing keys for His glory. And the preparations, although not so awesome, still had their good moments. For some reason I can't pull anything from my memories for what happened after Youth Sunday... oh yeah the really tense/stressed out dance debrief. PEOPLE DON'T WORRY LA WE'LL BE FINE AND AWESOME :D God will provide yeah.

This week has been so not fulfilling, to say the least. Nothing doing except for school (which for some reason seems like such a drag even though I can't say I'm not interested), and studying (which I have not been doing oh my gosh). At least PE is really really fun! Handball in a full court isn't too bad (:

Then there's Project Work. Freak you EOM. Pain in the butt to the max can? And even for training cause everybody's separated and there's remedials and all, it's kind of boring. Ahhh. I did a 12.36 for 5th All-Comer's though! I'm quite happy with that time cause well, it's a personal best, for starters. And I'm veryvery sure I can break 12s if I work on my shoulders and arm swing. Cheerios I'm so going to do that by next race.

I really think there's something missing from my life, I just can't really place what it is. Oh and I realize that a lot of people don't know that I loveeee to sing. Maybe I'm not the best, maybe I don't practice a lot. But I love it! Same goes for dance. (:

Festival of Praise is coming up in like, 3 more days! That's one thing to look forward to this week, I guess. In addition to Agape Cup Friendly on Sunday. So yes, Friday and Saturday night, awesome worship and inspiring sermon. Natalie Wee you'd better go or you'll miss so so so much okay!

Like I said, nothing much to blog about. Bye. Wednesday, mock SPA, Thursday, nothing, Friday. I'm just counting down the days to my death, seems like. Freaking routine and pointless, can?

---

I feel so drained and I have no idea why;

I could really use a wish right now;

2010-07-18T23:35:00.001+08:00

THE MOST AWESOME YOUTH SUNDAY EVER.

I think that says it!

2010-06-20T15:29:00.009+08:00

Okay I know I really haven't been on my blog updating and all, so here's a round-up of like, the whole holiday, I guess. (:

Week 1 -- RMUN

RMUN was yet another really fun experience for me, even though it's from a completely different perspective, from being a participant last year to an Assistant Director this. But all the same it was fun, what with reading random retarded notes being passed around and just getting to know more people. And of course, Dinner and Dance was cool although it wasn't that high-profile. We spent most of it having group fun-ness on the roof :D

Anyway, a few shout outs!

Gen -- HEY YOU. Thanks so much for being a hyper, yet really really nice person throughout the whole process of RMUN. I hope you had a great time getting to know new people and having a feel of what MUN is like :D Continue to be awesome and hyper and nice kayyyyy! <3!

Hwach boys -- Haha you guys really made life interesting for us. Thank you for all the laughter and fun you brought to the council! :D And yeah, congratulations on your sweep of titles. (:

Ashley -- HEY ASH how're you. (: Hope this year's RMUN was as epic as last years! Haha. Don't be too disappointed kay; all the best for O-levels! You're so going to be seeing me next year. :D

Can't wait for next years' edition!

Week 2 -- Track Chalet

WAS AWESOME EPIC WHATEVER YOU CAN CALL IT. 3 whole days of nothing but trackers. And what better place to spend with crazy retarded fun people than NSRCC? Swimming, cycling, bowling, pool, Wii with Raving Rabbids; what more can someone ask for :D

Just wanted to tell you guys that you're all reallyreallyreally awesome yeah? (: Think you guys have been the greatest blessing in my JC life so far and I really look forward to CCA trainings cause of you people. Never fails to make my day especially when I'm having a bad day of school or a bad day of training. And like, I know I'm useless (as of now) at my event and whatever but it's really nice having people support you all the way.

Thank you to everyone who put in effort into organising the whole thing!

Week 3 - Calvin's surprise birthday

Okay so maybe it wasn't THAT much of a surprise. Heh. Still had a load of fun making epic card, crashing house, eating Swenson's icecream buffet, slacking at Nicole's.

Shoutout for the handsome birthday boy... ZAC EFRON!

Happy birthday dude. It's been what, 6 years since I got to know you? Glad track brought us together again cause you're one of my closest friends in RJC. We haven't had the best of moments but even though sparks fly, iron still sharpens iron! Think I can say confidently that you've got my back. You're a true blue retard during training you know (: But I'm thankful to God for that and well, continue being a blessing to the team! And may God bless you in return. Cheerios!

Week 3 -- OMG CHURCH CAMP.

Okay let's be honest -- I really didn't know if I should have gone for camp. What with it being nearly a whole week long (SIX DAYS YO) and common tests coming up. Mixed feelings much? But I chucked my faith at the feet of God and went for it. Happy to say that it didn't disappoint, it never seemed like it would. (: God's awesomazingness pulled through the gloom and unsureness of the future.

And yes it was an awesomazing experience, really. Never experienced a June camp before, so this would be a first. Surprisingly got grouped with Yi Ying and Bert again (okay maybe not so surprisingly) but yeah it was still an eye opening experience for me, cause the whole point of the camp was different compared to 13th Crossing. SOLOMON IS AWESOME TOO. :D

I'm really glad you guys managed to warm up to each other so quickly and although I kinda got the perception that most of you were quiet and shy I was proven wrong when you came out of your shells to become pretty good friends. And yeah can't say that the activities didn't help bond our group together. Even as we move on from camp, let's keep in touch and continue in our journey together yeah? :D OUTING SOON.

And yeah I became closer to a lot of other people during camp too. Like even those whom I didn't talk to but got notes from (yes I'm talking about you haha). Thanks so much to everyone who encouraged me in one way or another! YMpact is awesome ttm.

Sermons were really inspiring too. Specifically the altar call. I just went up not really knowing what to expect, cause it was a pretty general thing like laying down your life for God to use. But I think God inspired Daniel to pray for the things that I really was worrying about. Worry, studies, family, money, all that. And I was so touched that God knows about everything and that someone actually could feel how I felt. And my face just suddenly became super super SUPER hot and I just started tearing, then sobbing, finally crying. And I've never felt anything like that before, it was such a shocking yet calming experience for me. God is awesome and He works in mysterious ways that we can never comprehend.

Although there were some... problems near the end for me. But hopefully with God's Grace I don't have to worry about them too much and we'll be able to sort things out. I hate losing people I love very much. It totally burns. ):

But yeah church camp was an experience worthy of its name -- O.M.G. In both senses of the acronym. :D And now it kind of sucks, because I'm suffering from for post-camp withdrawal symptoms, and pre-common test freakout symptoms. Haiz.

God will provide. I know He will, I trust He will, He will.

---

On a random side note -- I LOVE MY PARENTS. I REALLY DO.

2010-05-25T17:12:00.002+08:00

Cheng Yi's concert was AWESOME. I never did appreciate High School Musical but yeah it didn't jar my ears for once in my life. :D Oh oh and and and the way the basketballers walked was super funny; not to mention the billions of "mans" in the script. HAHAHA.

Hey man.

What's up man.

I don't know man.

Don't you think Sharpay's hot man?

Yeah totally man.

Or something along those lines! Man. Hehehe.

Hahha okay I know it sounds damn weird coming from me but well everyone thinks so. Cheng Yi damn cute can? HAHAHA. I honestly feel that I didn't waste 16 bucks. Although it's like, OHMYGAWD SIXTEEN BUCKS ARE YOU SERIOUS?! (: Thanks for a great show RGS Choir.

But yeah, I'm really glad that you managed to pull through everything that's been going on and all. Know it hasn't been easy on you and our friendship but yeah you're still awesome anyhow. :D I'll bake you some potatoes someday HAHAHHAHAHHA.

---

Why do I feel that everyone is against me? I really have no idea what I've done. Really. So please do enlighten me whether I've offended you or whatever. It's so irritating trying to second guess you guys. Zzz.

When I say everyone, I don't mean EVERYONE. Just a target group. (:

---

I can't wait for Sec3 LBE this weekend! Hehehehhe I'm going to referee and HEHEHE I'M GONNA COME UP WITH FORFEITSSSSS. You guys watch out.

On yet another spiritual note: GOD HELP ME GOD.

I really really really need your peace. There's so many things in life right now and I can feel myself buckling under the pressure. Problems with myself, mainly. And I don't know, maybe stuff to do with my friends in school?

But I know that your unfailing love is always there for me to draw upon. Sometimes I totally feel that I don't deserve an ounce of it (I mean, who hasn't felt this way?). And some other times I just think that I've been taking advantage of it all the time. I still want to thank You all the same.

Help me straighten out my life and my walk please. Thank You. (:

Awesomazing God.

2010-05-17T12:38:00.002+08:00

Today is a day off I can slack at homeeeeee until training later (: Going to go a bit earlier to work out something for Take Me To The Riot auditions. Hehe.

I realize that I'm always wasting my time. Computer games, surfing the net doing retarded stuff... I should be putting all that time to good use.

---

Back to square one. Why can't I ever prevent myself from doing it? It's like I'm always failing no matter how hard I try. Or am I trying hard enough?

This will be the last.

I promise, God. I'm sorry.

2010-05-08T11:33:00.002+08:00

CSI Season 1 is unexpectedly down-to-earth and extremely saddening. I really respect Jerry Bruckheimer in the way that he comes up with all these emotionally appealing storylines. That show used to be for me a look into the world of science and technology and way cool stuff, but now it's now only that; now it's also an epiphany of all our mortalities, and our feelings, and how someone would feel when his best friend or his wife is brutally taken away from him in the most unexpected ways possible.

On a completely lighter note, I really think these two years in track are going to be the most enjoyable in my life. Even though training completely sucked yesterday where I couldn't even do 4 sets of 80m-push ups-80m-abdominals-80m-squats-80m, and when everybody else was doing what, 5. It just goes to show how unfit I am and it's completely unprecedented. I've never felt this way before and my fitness has never atrophied this badly before. Less than 1k with exercises that I should be pulling off with no kick? Running slower than the whole jumps team? This just isn't me. I'm less fit than girls, my gosh. Not being sexist or anything here, I hope you can tell.

And I'm going to do something about it. It shouldn't be this way -- it won't be this way.

But that was supposed to be a "lighter note". Well here it is! Track dinner yesterday was retardedly funnnnn. Even though it was completely filled with ego and innuendos. (:

I'm looking forward to life; I really am. But I know sometimes nothing will feel right. Like how it did yesterday. But I'll move on and get up and danceeeeeeee.

Cheerios.

2010-05-06T19:33:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was a mindblowing day.

I honestly thought it would be completely normal. Go to school, go for training, maybe have dinner with trackers, then go home. But the first 9 messages started the day off awesomely.

Then in school people whom I thought didn't even know it's my birthday just came up to me and wished me. Class spammed a birthday song before GP lesson, and then my first time playing soccer in over a MONTH. I think I played pretty well for someone like that.

And then came training. Mini surprise in the form of a sweet hunt (had to find 17 sweets; only found 16 though cause the last one was sneaky until...). Training was mostly physical and a longgg captains' ball game before finishing up. We were all super filthy and wet and stinky and suddenly, the team broke out a CAKE and celebrated Ben's YY's and my birthdays! Totally awesomazing. And then there was the customary taupok and cake facial which made my face smell like chocolate omg. But IT WAS AMAZINGLY FUN.

And well. I just want to thank you guys. It feels like such a blessing to have an epic team like the one we have right now and I'm enjoying every moment I spend with you. A really nice surprise on a day that I thought would be completely normal. You guys rock! (Y)

And I also want to thank a very important person in my life -- THANK YOU GOD. For blessing me so abundantly! I just pray that You'll help me in my birthday wish. (:

After that nobody could eat dinner though cause everyone had to rush home to do PI. But once again I felt really blessed because I finished it up super early and managed to be a blessing in turn!

And of course a shoutout to the one and only person who called me to wish me happy birthday in person. Really, it was a sweet thing to do, I'm sorry I was so fail cause I don't have caller ID. :D

Looking soooooo forward to training tomorrow. (:

2010-05-04T18:05:00.002+08:00

I really think I'm becoming too obsessed over external appearances. Maybe it's because I haven't been doing things right. Maybe it's because I haven't been following His Will. I know I haven't. But at the same time, I know I should.

Oh gosh, why can't I change. Why. Just stop, drop everything, and start over. Why can't I do something seemingly so simple yet infinitely hard in practice. I will. Starting TODAY.

I'm also starting to feel life doesn't have much of a purpose. I mean, everyday is go school study go home slack on the computer sleep repeat xInfinitely. What's the whole point? And the things I'm supposedly living for pass by so quickly. I need to learn how to shift my world view.

God help me change, please. Show me a way to remind myself to follow your will. Thank you.

---

Preliminary Idea is retarded. But I think mine's pretty alright actually. Just need to cut down another 80 words or so from an already super skeletal work. Ah well how hard can that be?

---

Completely awesome singer (Y)

---

CYCLING THIS SATURDAY AFTERNOON ANYONE? :D From East Coast Park to church! Wheeeee.

2010-05-02T22:46:00.002+08:00

I feel like I just rediscovered you; we hadn't talked in ages. Thanks so much for today (:

And yes, this is directed at you too. I'm going to try my very best to change and become a better person. Starting from now. You'll be there rooting for me right! :D

God is AWESOMAZING. I might sound like a total hypocrite with what I've done and have been doing, but I still love Him and I know He loves me. In lieu of that -- He is awesomazing.

So God,

I know I've failed you continuously. Even until now. And I foresee many failures ahead. But Father, I thank you so much for your unending love and grace, which fills my cup to the brim. I know that to get this awesome stuff I need to get rid of the worldly pleasures that I have now and I pray that you'll help me do so. Give me discipline, give me strength, give me wisdom. Arm me with your weapons and your armor to fend off temptation. Thank You, Father Almighty. From today onwards, I promise You that I will try my best to be a new man.

You're awesomazing, you know? In Jesus' Name, Amen.

---

Cheerios today was good. Iron Man 2 is pretty epic, and the trailer at the end... THOR IS COMING TO TOWN. (Y)

I'm so looking forward to catching up with you, our plans were foiled AGAIN today. Hahahhaa oh well. All the best for bowling season yeah. Go burn the lanes. (:

I WILL GET THROUGH THIS. With His love, with your support.

2010-05-01T23:37:00.002+08:00

Track party at Debby's house awesome until..?

Just too awesome. :D Even though we basically did nothing it was DAMN FUN. All thanks goes to Debby and her family for being such gracious hosts even though we really trashed her beloved bicycle card set and like, made a huge mess of her house. But yeah I think we totally completely destroyed the tranquil atmosphere that's supposed to be night. Hahahhaha.

It's been two Saturdays of partying, first Mahdi's place, then Deb's. Which REALLY make me look forward to Track Chalet in June. I think it's going to be even more epic than what has happened so far.

Oh and track exco interview was... not very stressful at all. Much less than HISSOC, at least. But on hindsight I kind of regret saying that I'm not ready for the captain's post. I actually feel I am ready, but other people might suit the post better than me. Yep. Wasted opportunity there, and I'm not sure if I'll get it back. Hopefully I will though? Hopefully I will.

I'm going to start living a proper life with God. I know I haven't been doing so, even though I really need to. So here's my declaration. Let's do this.

Oh and, heh. Homework needs to be done. But I'll place God first and He'll take care of my worries in time. (: Because He's awesome.

Cheerios! I'm off.

2010-04-29T22:18:00.002+08:00

I thought I was doing well, but now I'm back to square one. Why can't I just stop and THINK sometimes?

I know it's a bad habit yet I don't act like it is. Oh God, what am I doing. ):

Come on David, you're better than that. You know you are. God knows you are. So yeah.

KEEP TRYING AND YOU WILL SUCCEED.

2010-04-29T00:23:00.003+08:00

What the hell. Seriously. I'm up playing DotA because I know people are doing PI and I might be of some use. And then my dad pisses off because I'm playing games at midnight on a school day; that's totally understandable.

And because of his STUPID mid-life crisis, he's tantrum throwing all the time and this wakes up my mom. And my mom is at first, pretty nice about it. Telling me that I should tell my friends that I don't wanna play and all that.

But then I tell her that I've stopped playing and was just helping my friend with his project because it's due tomorrow. And she starts questioning my time management and his time management. What the shit. So what if our time management sucks, he still has to get it done right? And I'm helping him, why are you so selfish that you can't let me help him?!

The best part is that you, my own mother, tells me "Fuck you" when you can't argue with me anymore. What is WRONG WITH YOU?! When did it become wrong to help people out with something they're struggling with?! When did it become wrong to stay up late to advise people?! WHY ARE YOU SO SELFISH.

Seriously. I'd love to help you/daddy, and I really think that I have, by not being a nuisance with my schoolwork and school behavior, by doing everything that's asked of me without complaining. And this is how you treat me?

I know you just want me to get more sleep, but sometimes some things are more important than my own sleep or my own comfort. I just hope you understand that I place a REALLY HUGE importance on relationships. I still stand by the fact that you have hardly any close friends and you have so many.

God, help me with this please. Help me with this struggle, help me be UNDERSTANDING towards my parents' feelings. Thank you.

2010-04-28T21:34:00.002+08:00

Today was fun and exhilarating.

Standing broad jump 250cm! New boundaries :D Although not as good as Calvin Efron Khor's 294cm. OMG freaky much.

I have lost my ability to do a 3 second human flag. It's damn short now, maybe 1 second only. Pffft. Sian much.

Math test was pretty alright! Hehe. *sneaky grin*

Grah half the week's gone and I just feel it's been so meaningless. I cannot wait for partehhhhh this Saturday. (Y)

Efron and Princess so scandalous! Haahhahaha Facebook has it all. (Y)

Byebye.

---

BERENICE LIAN!

Happy birthday youuuuuu (: It's been awesome knowing you through track since the start of the year, I know you've been having an awesome time! Anyway I hope that you're coping well with schoolwork and the loaddd of lecture tests and PW stuff that's being thrown at us right now. And yeah, we hardly talk nowadays! But yeah, all the best for the rest of the year; continue to stay hyper and awesome. (Y)

Once again, happy birthday! Hope you had a great one. ;D

Cheerios.

2010-04-26T21:43:00.000+08:00

HISSOC Exco interview was fail. And I'm not doing any work again. My goodness.

Track interview's tomorrow. I really hope I don't screw up AGAIN.

Yeah. That's it for today.

Cheerios, my life is a boring one.

2010-04-25T20:20:00.002+08:00

Mahdi your party was awesomeeeee! Thanks for having the track team over for just a crazy time of hydrating each other and pigging out. :D

Went there at like, 4.30? Where Berenice Zahrah GL Keefe Jon and Kevin were already filling water bombs. And then suddenly out of the blue they just started pelting each other and the party hadn't even started yet. But the most epic moment was when everyone was there already, and Mahdi decided to play a game. Five losers were chosen, and given eggs; 1 was supposedly uncooked. So we all smashed them against our heads and ohwhatagreatsurprise all of them were raw. Mahdi you sneaky little thing hahahhaha. Great trick bro.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=434504598834&subj=721313834

"That was so stupid!!! Why would anyone crack an egg on their head?!?"

And then we seriously had a food fight. Like, in the literal meaning of the term. To quote Keefe, "water, soy sauce and milk make one hell of a party :D" You forgot to mention mayo, soap, oranges, whipped cream and whatnot. HAHA.

Dinner was awesome, THANK YOU AUNTY AND MAHDI. Oh and seriously, a regular sized pool table?!?! (Y). Not to mention more dares involving shirt stripping and water using the pool table! Left at nearly 10.30 to cab home otherwise I wouldn't be typing this right now.

---

I really think tiredness kills me. Always feel super freaking emo when I'm exhausted mentally and it's like I start to jump to conclusions and everything. It's not so bad when I'm physically tired cause if that's the case I just zone out. But when I'm mentally tired it's such a different case. Ahhh well.

And I just feel that I'm so out of my depth in my class sometimes. Like everyone is so over-achieving and here I am just making my own way trying to do what I can even though I'm some major bigass slacker. Yeah. But sometimes it's so infuriating that I can't even find things to talk about that are in common.

At least I have a few people I can really talk to. And I'm really thankful for them. :D

---

Church today was really good. Worship was epically high, and then sermon was basically roughly the same as Fusion. And then... SG lunch was really really successful and I actually think Just Acia is pretty worth the money you pay for it because you seriously eat until you bust. Hahhahaa.

SGL meeting was... insightful yet confusing all the same. I think I'm going to have to work this out a bit.

And talking of working out. I NEED TO TRAIN OMG I MISS TRACK TRAINING LOADS. I cannot wait until we begin again because I CAN FEEL MYSELF BECOMING FAT. Anybody wanna go running?

(:

Cheers to another week of school. Hope it won't be too hellish, but what can I say with two lecture tests coming up?

Ahhhh.

2010-04-24T08:15:00.001+08:00

TAN GUAN RONG you were awesome yesterday. :D

Which was incidentally an awesomely fun day actually; school ending at 12.30 and then going home early to lepak until about 4 before going down to church to "help out" with the BB and GB stuff. Didn't really do much, actually. Heh. Only bad spot? PW is being a bitch and not even half the year's gone yet.

But the later part of the day was magical. Met up with Mel and Aisyah before heading down to Victoria Concert Hall for Chamber Ensemble concert! I honestly think they did awesomely well even though some people might think otherwise. And to make it better the whole J1 track team was there, plus Debby/Jacob/Amit/Cheryl. Then MORE track lepaking at Macs until what, 11.30 before we frantically tried to find cabs that allowed five people. Which, in the end, were none. So CalMelJon did a nice thing and spent money so we could all cab home together.

Reached home at what, past midnight. But I really had an awesome time.

Today's going to be as good, if not better. :D

---

PW PW PW why do you have to be such an 'integral' part of the A level syllabus? It just doesn't make sense -.- tell me what lifeskill this gives us? My gawshhhhh.

But otherwise I'm doing alright. I NEED MORE WORK ETHIC PFFFFT RAWR. I feel so out of depth especially in my class, where everyone is aiming like past the stars into some unknown dimension with their ambitions and whatnot. There is something called overachieving you know. And the way they talk about being behind lessons and not finishing tutorials. Let's just say that other classes have people who haven't even started doing those tutorials, okay?

Gosh, take a chill pill already.

That was not a rant (: Just trying to... focus myself and not lose track of who I am. Yeah. Although I do admit that I need to work a BIT harder.

GOD WILL PROVIDE A WAY.

Cheerios.

---

With all the earth we will sing;
God our hope and our salvation,
Worthy of all the praise.

2010-04-22T21:24:00.001+08:00

I kind of realize how deluded I've been; seems like the people I thought were shielded against me are actually the people I can be retarded with the most. Thank you guys.

AND I'm still failing. Even after renewal. It's a daily battle and I really want to win every single day. So God, help me. Help me with Your amazing strength and grace. Don't make me second-guess myself; lie to myself. Thank You. I'm sorry for continuously straying from You, help me get my life back on the right path. Forgive me I pray; I know You love me so so much. Let me live a true life so that I'll never doubt myself, I'll never have that burden weighing down on my shoulders. All this in Jesus' name, Amen.

---

Guan Rong's chamber concert tomorrow! I can't wait I think it's going to be awesome. Good luck yeah! You'll do awesome :D

And then a super long weekend hmmmmm but I think I'll be okay. The stress of PW is kind of catching up but I'm sure we can al handle it right, Krystal/Guan Lin/JieMin/Ke Xin. Cheers!

---

This singer is goooooood (Y).

(:

Okay I'm going to sleep freaking early today. Because I'm totally gonna talk to Him. I need to. Bye!

2010-04-18T20:21:00.004+08:00

Fusion was awesome. (Y) I felt really... fuzzy (SERIOUSLY) inside during the whole thing because I could just shout out my love for God without any things holding me back. Pictures will come soon I promise. :D

Like at the start I was pretty taken aback cause we were singing hymns which honestly were quite cool. But soon the house band started rocking the foundations and we just rocked along with them. And Pastor Kai Ming's sermon was so awesome. He made his message so plainly clear. There IS a God. (:

Ended at 11 plus, can you believe that.

And then there was today. I know it wasn't really orthodox but I'm seriously glad that I chose to get baptized. Because it marks this epic milestone in my life where I seriously drop all the excess baggage that I've had and just live my life for God. :D Discipline time. And I'm glad my parents don't mind; still working on them though. It was stupid to not ask them to come; I thought they didn't really bother about what I did in church but who knows? Maybe I'm wrong.

Lavish Dine is an awesome catering place by the way.

Renewed;

<3

2010-04-15T17:28:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEOW YEONG YANG.

Thanks for being such an awesome track teammate and friend. I totally look up to you at how you can control you temper even though we're the subject of lame pranks sometimes and everything. And for being such a pro on the track!

So yes, getting to that, congrats on your 4 medal haul at this year's Nationals. Not an easy feat (maybe for me) but for you I'm sure it's pretty awesome. Now it's ack to mugging like a mugger in this mugger school of ours. Continue to be a humble servant of God and looking to Him in your times of need!

I really thank Him for blessing all our lives with you and I just hope that you'll continue being the cheerful fun-loving person you are.

Praise be to Him! And once more, happy birthday. Have an awesome night!

Oh and this is the first time I've done a video shoutout but I think it's really fitting. (Y) Cheers!

2010-04-13T21:28:00.002+08:00

GO RAFFLES TRACK AND FIELD. LET'S TEAR UP THE TRACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON AND BRING HOME THOSE GOLDS.

Even though I'm not doing anything to contribute except cheer till my lungs burst and my vocal cords snap.

Good luck Shahrir, Calvin, Yeong Yang, Zahrah, Berenice, Aisyah, Inez, Fiona, Cheryl, and whoever else I can't think of right now. You guys will do awesome. I just know it.

<3

And then we stuff ourselves with 29 dollar buffet food.

---

To B or not to B; that is the question. Chances are, to B.

2010-04-12T19:35:00.004+08:00

Why does my life feel so shitty?

I'm so far behind in schoolwork. I suck at track, even though I love it so much. My relationships with my friends are all so superficial and sometimes awkward. And the friends who I really trust I hardly see; talk to.

To anyone who thinks I like them, please, I'm just a friendly guy. Don't take how I behave the wrong way.

---

Like said point, my schoolwork is dying. And I have absolutely no motivation to study. Starting with Econs lecture test tomorrow. Wts.

And I don't see any point in me going to school it's just routine and repetitive and focus-less. To make it worse, I have no idea how to make it better.

Don't give me that crap with "positive attitude" and all that shit, because how can I have a positive attitude when I feel that so many things are stacking against me?

If I didn't have God I'd be so forsaken right now. He is totally awesome.

Desert song. That's what I feel right now. In a desert.

---

What, please tell me what I did to you to deserve this. I want to know; and it would make life so much easier.

On a happier side note; Thank you so much, Grace and Zara. You've been really bright lights in my life recently. (:

---

Track nationals today was pretty good! Pretty pretty good actually. REALLY GOOD. Congratulations Shahrir Anuar, Seow Yeong Yang and Calvin Ethan Khor. Great job sweeping 200m; first sprints sweep in God knows how long. (:

And congrats to Inez and Cheryl and Nat for doing so well in 400mH! You guys are awesome.

Oh and of course, a shoutout for Champion Wan Zahrah who basically destroyed everyone in 3000k A Girls. (Y)!

TO ALL COMPETITORS ON FINAL DAY: GOOD LUCK GOD BLESS. We'll win it; I just know.

2010-04-11T19:38:00.004+08:00

Why must my brother be such a selfish asshole? My mom is pissed at him because he always never does his homework and she spends so much money on his tuition, so he goes and turns on his music super loud (which I really don't like), not caring about anybody else in the room. At all. Like seriously. If he doesn't want to hear my mom shouting then go buy earplugs or something, don't do things that irritate other people. Honestly.

Anyway church today was good, sermon on spending our time wisely (which I have continually and consistently failed to do) before SG time. Ice cream is good. Cheap ice cream is better! Then lunch out with RachK Rebecca Felicia Mabel and her sis. BBQ chicken isn't that awesome, hehe. (:

Tried to study in church, at least I managed to complete infinitely more homework today than yesterday (that is, 2 worksheets as compared to none). YEAH. I'm on my way to becoming a workhorse.

Cannot wait for tomorrow! Is this what, the third time I'm saying this? Hehe. And then there's Fusion this Saturday. People please do check your event page on Facebook kthxbyeeeeeee.

---

I need to know how to read behaviors; cause I'm getting dizzy from the whirlwind of complexities.

2010-04-10T23:49:00.002+08:00

Today was one of the most un-fulfilling days ever. Bored to the max. Didn't go for SC carnival because it's too darned far away and didn't have anything to do for One Voice practice because they had a full band already. Oh well.

Finally completed Baptism and Membership class though! I'm looking forward to the service and a new start with God. (: He knows I need it.

And I really need to start doing work, I just realized how much I'm lost today when I looked at a couple of questions and went 'huh?'. Tomorrow afternoon is a work day, I'm sorry Galacticos. You guys'll do fine without me, anytime anyday. :D

Okay. Things to do.

Econs Case Study.
Chem Tutorials and Worksheet.
Math Tutorials.
Biology Tutorials.

Holy crap that's so much, at least I'm missing school on Monday (Y). Time to start finding people to study with.

LAST TWO DAYS OF TRACK AND FIELD NATIONALS I REALLY CANNOT WAIT REALLY REALLY. LET'S OWN PEOPLE.

---

I'm finding it so hard, Father, but I know there's always a way and that way is through You.

2010-04-09T23:59:00.003+08:00

I totally love Raffles Track & Field. We're the most awesome CCA in the whole world. And not only because of today!

Anyway, congratulations to everybody who's competed in the Nationals so far, I'm sure you guys have done your best and put in all your effort so whatever the result, take heart! You're always epic. And well, further congrats to those who are pro-er than the rest of us. People like:

Cheryl Ann Lee, Sarah Chong, Wen Rui, Yan Rui, Aisyah, Debby Wong, Calvin Khor, Melvyn Koe, Shahrir Anuar, Seow Yeong Yang, Jing Sheng, Ben Wong, Ng Jun Rui, Inez Leong, and whoever else!

Two more days to our double championship once more guys. Let's do this. :D

---

And the weekend is here! THIS TIME. I MUST GET SOME WORK DONE. At the very least. Going to miss another two days of school, on Monday and Wednesday, so I really cannot afford to drop behind any further. (:

But I really really wanna find a way to make all my time worthwhile.

---

LET'S ALL GO FOR FUSION EVERYBODY :D

2010-04-07T21:02:00.000+08:00

I feel like I'm wasting my life doing nothing meaningful everyday. And I feel like every week is so darn monotonous; and of course, I feel as though everyone I know is drifting away from me. ):

Rawr.

I'll try to cope as best as I can. I promise. And God will help me, won't He! :D

Class camp tomorrow, not sure if I'm looking forward to it, but I'll make the most of it.

Thanks Bert. (:

2010-04-04T17:55:00.002+08:00

EASTER SUNDAY IS AWESOMEZXC.

Although we had to get up super early today because we had to be in church at 8 (homg right) to get ready. But everything paid off, even though I was rushing here and there from worship to prep for skit to skit to post-skit adrenaline. Thank God for the success today, really. I hope I'll understand the magnitude of this day in the weeks to come.

And that talk with Bert was a real refresher. Made me open my eyes to things that I would've never thought about, honestly. Even in the minute actions;

What would Jesus do? Am I reflecting God's image? Have I straightened out my spiritual life? Maybe not just yet, but I'm working on it. (:

I always have this bad feeling that I'm going to fail in my walk with God. Not in the big picture sense, but here and there. And I don't want that to happen. Who would? But to be able to do so, I need to have discipline.

sin is broken; you have saved me,
christ is risen; jesus YOU are lord of all!

---

I haven't done a single ounce of work this whole holiday. Oh my goodness freakkkkkkk. I should be having more work ethic! Gahhhh crap omgggggg. Haiz someone study with me please? I can't study on my own at all.

Before school starts heating up I really have to get back on track. Or else I'll just die a horrible death. I feel like I'm just wasting away my life doing nothing meaningful, every week a repeat of the previous one. Sure seems like it.

And youuuuuu I wanna talk! Haven't had a proper conversation in ages already.

---

Thank you for loving me, cause you're doing it perfectly;

2010-04-04T00:19:00.003+08:00

It's Easter Sunday! When Jesus was resurrected; and in the same way, I want a new beginning. I want to stop doing whatever wrongs I'm doing now, whether I'm aware of them or not. And I'll need a crazy amount of discipline for that, but with God by my side, anything's possible.

So just a quick prayer;

Father, I'm sorry for all the times I've been a hypocrite to you. I'm sorry for saying sorry without meaning it. I'm sorry for always turning away from your loving face. And I realize, after acting in the skit, that You will always love me. And it is because of this never-ending love that I want to reciprocate. Help me do so, Lord, because I cannot do it out of my own strength. Help me by breaking the bondages that sin has on my life; help me get out of this trough I've dug myself into. I want to live a life free of burden, so that I can jump my highest to praise Your wonderful name. Thank You. In Jesus name I pray;

AMEN.

I CAN'T MEASURE HOW MUCH I NEED TO BE FORGIVEN. BUT I KNOW THAT YOU'VE FOUND ME, LORD. (:

2010-04-02T23:29:00.002+08:00

I WILL UPDATE THIS LATER WHEN I'M LESS LAZY.

Today was really fun. GAG was a great time of fellowship and bonding and just being crazy and competitive while learning about God's Amazing Grace. Although sometimes my patience ran really short trying to keep a hold on the sec 1 kids (especially 10 of them) but we all pulled through in the end.

Just wanna give an awesome shout-out to Jill Jocelyn Felicia and Jessica, as well as everyone who helped out with the event.

And had LG dinner at Diane's house after that; I am going to grow fat. Pizza followed by KFC chicken followed by TCC Cheesecake, which is really very nice, btw. And now I'm back. Tomorrow's going to be another long day!

Studying in church, then soccer fellowship, then GAG rehearsal, then worship practice. But it's going to be sooooo worth it in the end (:

2010-04-02T00:03:00.001+08:00

Today should have been awesome; it wasn't.

I'm sorry Kim; I really am. I hope you're okay.

And Cheng Yi, don't worry too much luh, it'll turn out alright.

Bye, I'm tired. If I cheer up tomorrow I'll edit this post.

2010-03-31T23:35:00.004+08:00

Thank God for this friendship. (:

---

Today was crazily tiring. And the best part is, I didn't even go for training. Because there was YOG Volunteer training! Which wasn't awesome and to be honest I dropped off a couple of times. But at least I picked up a bit of new stuff.

Then dinner with Jiale and Stephen and Matthew which was a breath of fresh air. Actually before that had time to train for a bit but I really was too tired. Although I totally felt like restless cause I missed training a lot.

And now I'm home and not sleeping. Lucky tomorrow have break, getting up at 7 to FINALLY PLAY SOCCER WITH THE PROS. (:

I'm a lucky, happy kid. At least that's what I'd like to think. :D

---

Today's epic video. Actually, TWO.

2010-03-31T00:00:00.000+08:00

This is going to be a long post, because THREE PEOPLE'S BIRTHDAYS ARE ON THE SAME DAY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHEL ONG. (:

You're 18 years old! Thanks for being such an awesome friend ever since I've known you although recently we haven't been talking much and all. But I think you're still a wonderful person all the same and I hope we don't drift apart tooooo much even though we're both so super busy nowadays with JC and church stuff going on.

All the same, continue faithfully following God and serving Him the best you can! And of course, all the best for the last half year or so leading up to A levels; you'll do fine, I'm sure of it. Once again, happy 18th birthday, and God bless! <3

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY VICTORIA SIM. :D

Not bad eh, finally can start watching NC16 movies. It's been really nice getting to know you since... wait, how did we meet again? O_O I don't even remember. But I'm really glad that the times we've had playing soccer and all were reallyreally fun, and I'm sure you feel the same way too. Although we hardly ever talk about stuff other than soccer cause I hardly see you. Hahaha.

It's O level year! How're your preparations coming up; hope they're not going too bad yeah? Work your hardest for the rest of the year and well, enjoy the long but well-deserved break that comes after your efforts. It's no small thing and I'll be praying that you get into whatever JC you're aiming for.

Oh and you really should be more adventurous playing soccer. Don't care who you're playing against luh! Just take the ball and go for a run. (: Defending isn't just about winning the ball and kicking it away; you'd be surprised how many goals are scored by people in your position. I'm looking forward to playing with you and your neighbors again because you guys never fail to have fun and that's what soccer should be about, innit?

All the same, HAPPY 16TH. Hope you'll have/be having an awesome day ahead, even though you've already celebrated your birthday. And continue to grow in the Lord and learning about Him! Love, David. :D

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENJI.

How're you, schoolmate? Hope you've been enjoying your time in RJC so far picking up girls. :D JUST KIDDING.

Anyway I'm sure work isn't killing you yet because it isn't killing me and I'm having quite a fun time so you should be too. But don't get carried away with the fun and games cause Common Tests will be here in no time.

It's really cool seeing you serving as an SGL and I hope that your SG members come to love you more than just a leader or teacher. Continue serving the Lord; I'm sure your SG members really appreciate it.

Once again, happy 17th. (: Have an epic day in school getting taupoked!

---

And that's it for today. :D

2010-03-30T19:35:00.005+08:00

Today was retarded. Yeah, that's a good word for it.

School as per normal, although I stupidly overslept on the bus and had to rush like mad and burn 4 bucks on a taxi just to get to school on time. Super wasted luh omg. PE was lame cause the field was shitty to the max. Can you believe that they just returfed it last year? Go get an astroturf already, you rich school named RJC.

And I was in for a major surprise after school. Yeong Yang just randomly came up to me and said "Oh can you help me eat this cookie I'm kinda sick of it." And I totally didn't suspect anything because I thought that it was a normal Oreo cookie. How wrong I was. So I stuffed the whole cookie into my mouth, cause that's how I usually eat Oreos, and I didn't realize anything was amiss, other than the cookie being a bit soggy. Which would be normal if the cookie had been exposed to air for awhile. But noooo after awhile it started tasting like peppermint. Not that strong, because I'd just drunk grass jelly, but after awhile, guess what. It just reeked of toothpaste and it tasted like shitttttttttt. But because the whole thing was in my mouth already I just had to bear it and swallow. Like what the heck?! I bet I'm going to get stomach problem or SOMETHING. I ate. The whole. Darn. Cookie.

And the best thing is that Berenice and Zahrah were the ones who came up with the trick -.- So of course I was freaking pissed at that time luh, not understanding why I had that torrid luck of being the one offered the cookie. But on hindsight it wasn't that big a thing, although it was kinda mean. And haha, it was a good prank.

But it isn't even April Fool's yet!

So yes, Yeong Yang (who originally got tricked too) is planning to do something to get back at them on Thursday. Omg so crazy luh Danetta and Kristie and Melvyn were asking me "Hey how was your mouthwash?" And for some reason I started half laughing half tearing half don't know what luh.

AH WELL. I'm not going to hold a grudge because I actually respect this prank. Cheers yo. And uh Berenice? I'm sorry if I seemed a bit fierce. Yeah. ><

That thing totally made my day (both in a bad and a good sense).

---

JOSHUA SUWE HEY YOU.

Happy 17th birthday I know this is kinda late, but well I got home past 11 yesterday so don't blame me. (:

It's been awesome knowing you since what, sec 1. And although sometimes you're like this really serious person I know you really aren't. Can't really say much cause I haven't been in your class for 2 going on 3 years but still the times when we play soccer are epic.

Hope you've been having fun playing soccer with the school. I'd totally be there alongside you if it weren't for track. But I know you can become like freaking pro next year so keep up the hard work. And where's the pace?!

So just wanna say; continue to be your fun-loving joker-ish self and keep the hair growing. :D God bless, all the best.

Cheerios.

---

EPIC.

---

I NEED TO STOP BEING DISTRACTED FROM HIS GLORY AND AWESOMENESS. God help me remember and focus! (: And forgive me for being so two-faced in my attitude towards you; make me learn to depend on You and nothing else. :D

Love you ttm.

2010-03-28T20:27:00.002+08:00

Homework. Sigh. I really should be getting up to it, but I'm like totally not in the mood! UGH. Tomorrow morning, last stand. I don't care. I'll do it if it kills me.

Today was fun. Like I said, first time I played 5 different sounds in one worship session. But it sounded really really nice and my doxology is getting better whee. Although there was a complete mix-up about whether I was supposed to play the Gloria Patri. Kinda humiliating but ah well thank you Clarice for putting a funny spin on things. (: And then captain's ball for SG (which we won, so we're handsome champions) and SGL meeting which was scarily short today. O_O We ended at what, 2.39pm? I think leading SG is going to be a challenge now that the adult mentors are gone but with God by my side; I'M UP TO IT. :D

ALL YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE I DO NOT LIKE HER OKAYYYYY. Stop being so insidious about it!

Another week of school facing me! Although it's only a 3 day week... I really think Thursday and Friday are going to be awesomely funnnnnnn. (Y) That is, if I can survive Monday Tuesday and Wednesday. First thing that threatens me -- Econs case study questions. Rawr. And P&C. Heh.

That's all for today peeps! Cheerios.

---

Still, a video is in order. Lemme think...

Nice song we played this morning (:

2010-03-28T00:10:00.001+08:00

Look at that. Just. Look. At. That.

---

Whee tomorrow! First time I'm ever going to use five different tones in one worship session. Loves God, and thanks God for all his Amazing Grace. (:

2010-03-26T21:11:00.002+08:00

HELLO GRACE FUNG YU SI I KNOW THIS IS LATE BUT I WAS IN SCHOOL SO YEAH. At least you got the SMS :D

Anyway yes yes, HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY. Thanks for always being an alarming, astonishing, awe-inspiring, beautiful, breathtaking, formidable, grand, impressive, magnificent, majestic, mean, mind-blowing, moving, striking, stunning, wonderful, wondrous, zero cool person. HAHAHAHHA. That was courtesy of Thesaurus.com. (:

You're a WHOLE YEAR OLDER THAN ME :O Which means you're becoming old. Hahahahahahha but ah well age is good it makes you wiser! I hope you've been having an epic time in that wonderful school of yours called ACJC; and well, it's been great seeing you around in church. Continue serving to the best of your abilities and loving the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Matthew 22:37; Masterlife's doing wonders.

It's really too bad that you spent your whole birthday in school chionging for ACJC Funorama, which I can't go for (sadly) but something'll happen soon. Butttttt you still haven't gone studying with me yet! Oh well; you should be looking forward to Sunday, because I'm going to TRY and plan something which won't be too awesome but still hopefully really nice. (:

Once again, happy 17th birthday. Continue to be the *all the verbs up there* person that you've been and well to put it shortly. AN AWESOME FRIEND.

Love, David. :D

P.S. See Grace! A whole blogpost for yourself.

---

Today was pretty cool. BEN & JERRY'S IS THE AWESOMENESS. And the physio session before that was really (fun?) and useful. I totally need to get myself one of those balls. Birthday presents, hinthint!

EPIC SONG. (: And super touching too. Love it ttm.

2010-03-24T21:55:00.002+08:00

Another awesome day; CONGRATULATIONS RAFFLES JUNIOR COLLEGE CROSS COUNTRY. You guys own all.

And then lunch ----- arcade ----- Melvyn's new awesome hotel-esque house ----- cool dinner. I'm not regretting the decision to continue track instead of soccer one bit.

Now that the cross country peoples have destroyed the field, it's time for the trackers to step up; Nationals are in ONE WEEK. I know I'm not competing but all the same, JIAYOU TEAMMATES (and whoever I know who's a tracker). It's the final stretch so give it all you've got and don't leave any regrets behind.

These past two days have been feeling like a holiday, what with no homework on both days and no school on one. I kinda have a bad feeling about school tomorrow because I haven't been doing much but I know it'll pass really quickly and before I know it training will start again. It's a cycle, really, one that for me doesn't bring much fulfillment (idk why actually) but a HECKLOAD OF FUN. (Y)

So yeah. (: I WILL DO MORE HOMEWORK I PROMISE HAHA.

Kim! Cheer up, okay you? Everything will be fine sooner or later, and nothing is worth worrying about. Matthew 6:27! Go read the passage and the verses around it. :D You'll be fine. Oh and also, chill about nationals! You'll get there, just have to take your own advice! Relax kay. You rock all the same. :D

---

How do I read a person's feelings? Or am I just thinking too much; I think I am, but it would be nice to know. How do you tell?

2010-03-23T23:48:00.006+08:00

Trackers, you guys are AWESOME. Thanks for an epic B&J's Free Cone Day. (: Too bad we didn't manage to get any pictures or anything but all the same I had an awesome time talking and just being high with you guys.

And even though we queued up for 50 minutes, what's time when you're spending it with friends? It flies by scarily quickly.

Cal's screaming is very manly, by the way. All the girls were totally swooning at him at Aston's. Hahahhahaha. DISCLAIMER: JUST KIDDING. I can't wait for tomorrow! Track J1s at Nationals Cross Country, then slacking to the max.

And then there was Rafflesia swimming and pizza; which was TOTALLY impromptu but still madly enjoyable. Thanks Danetta for being so open and inviting us all into your condo's pool. Hehe I really didn't expect to have something like a mini party there, but it was OMGWTFBBQ FUN. Edwin's bombing, Edwin's owning us at push-the-guy-into-the-pool, Cal's screams (once more), awesome much. And pizza by the pool to top the day off. Thanks Jin Sei for chasing us out of the RI pool, hahaha.

<3 y'all! I know I overuse awesome here but it's really what we are :D

---

So yes today was free cone day, which was a really well-deserved break from homework after a horrid Chemistry lecture test in which I didn't know how to do most of question 6. And my answers to question 5 SHOULD BE WRONG. So yeah, emo much? But ah well it's not counted so as long as I mug more I'll be fine. (:

And then we spent literally the whole day at Cathay, getting icecream (the new flavor is awsum btw) and eating dinner at Aston's. Did I mention that Calvin Ethan Kor's screaming is very manly? :D

Can't wait can't wait can't wait for tomorrow. But it's such a waste of time that I have to go all the way to Bishan from Tampines just to get my attendance taken, especially since I live so darn near Temasek Poly! Oh well, the bus ride's going to be craziness embodied. Yeah.

GOOD LUCK ALL YOU CROSS COUNTRY RUNNERS TOMORROW. LEE GUAN LIN, BERENICE LIAN, ZAHRAH WAN, JOHN WONG, LAMBERT LEE, MADHI, JOANNA NG, CHEW HANYU. You guys're going to own.

CHEERS.

2010-03-19T22:28:00.004+08:00

11S03O LESS THAN THREE FOR THE WIN.

Class outing was amazingly fun although my whole body was aching and I never really expected to get into the water but I did in the end and it was sooooo fun; you guys totally rock. (: Let's go paintball someday when we're all richer by a bit!

We ROCK.

---

And then there was Sec 1 LBE today! Which was epically fun too, although the weather wasn't the greatest because it was raining pretty badly but we still had the time to play captains ball and whatnot. And the barbecue went SUPER SMOOTHLY for some reason. Thanks all who helped start the fires, you guys rock!

I'm sure all you little kiddos had a whale of a time, because I sure did, and you guys are like what, 4 years younger than me. Drat, I'm OLD. Pfffft hehe.

I HAVE TO CATCH UP ON 31 DAY READING AND MASTERLIFE I'M GOING TO CHURCH TOMORROW TO AT LEAST DO A BIT BEFORE TGIGF REHEARSAL LET'S DO THIS GOD. OH YEAH. (Sorry heh trying to psych myself up to it).

And yes, I'm going to keep that promise I made to You, with Your help and guidance. :D

---

how can i keep from singing Your praise;
how can i ever say enough;
how amazing is your love;

Totally love this song (:

2010-03-18T00:15:00.002+08:00

Oh my gosh my body is totally aching. My back, my arms, my neck (okay mainly because of a failed bicycle kick but yeah), my legs, ahh pain. But soccer today was really really fun, I never expected to play so well today. Extremely tiring though, seeing as we only managed to get 10 people. Vic, Me, Jared, Pom, Namu, Jeff, Liang Zhi, Nigel, Kenzie and Vic's dad. It was really fun all the same (hmm this sounds familiar). I need to teach people how to look up and slow the game down before they make a play! Otherwise it's just running around like headless chickens.

Moments of the match(es)!

- Jared diving like Drogba/C. Ronaldo.
- Jeff stopping my powerdrive (and injuring his foot in the process).
- Jared and his pro-ness at owning... himself! (Just kidding bro! You rock (: )
- My ohsomanygoals whee howfunhowfun I love Cage soccer.

Haha yes I know sorry a bit egotistic. (: I think Pom Namu Jeff and Vic are a really really fun bunch. Hope to see you guys at TGIGF! But thank you all for bothering to play soccer with me; I never really expected to play soccer this holiday cause I thought everyone would be too busy but in the end it still turned out epic. Less than three you guys. :D :D :D

Then Burger King and mega-camwhoring after we managed to stop playing (or got chased away, rather). And then surprisingly a couple of us still had the strength to play badminton at Coral Primary. Hehe. HEY SIS, IF YOU SEE THIS RIGHT, I NEED YOU TO TRAIN ME PLAY BADMINTON! Cause I realized I really suck hahahha. ><

Yeah and after supper with Lz and family I am back home! Class outing tomorrow can't wait can't wait. ;D Nights, I NEED TO RECOVER! Byeeeee (:

2010-03-15T17:05:00.003+08:00

Hi all.

I need to make myself a reminder.

DAVID LIM YONG SHENG. Whenever you want to do something wrong; something that might go against God's perfect will, REMEMBER.

He is watching, always. And there'll be a time when you're so far gone even His amazing Grace can't save you completely.

So get a grip of yourself and remember what HE wants, not what you want.

(:

I'm sorry Lord for everything I've done wrong. I know this may sound extremely hypocritical and all, seeing as I've recommitted the wrongs I did before, but I pray that You'll continue to forgive me as You see fit, and help me change my ways. Remind me to heed Your words and Your call. Thank you!

---

Cage on Wednesday afternoon ladida so excited so fun so fun. (:

2010-03-15T00:45:00.003+08:00

Holidays are here; I think they're going to pass really very fast. Ah well, I'll try to make the most out of them.

Tasks this week:

Study.
Play soccer at Cage.
Go for at least 1 training.
Study with Sis! :D
And uh,
DO MASTERLIFE PROPERLY. ><

I'm off to sleep. (:

---

So much coming up! TGIGF, Sec1 LBE, Cage with churchies, whatnot and so forth!

2010-03-13T22:40:00.001+08:00

Today was an epic day.

Worship practice was pretty cool, I'm singing for like the first time tomorrow. While playing the piano at the same time. I wonder how it'll turn out? But like today's Bible study said; we're not doing it for anybody but God, so why worry? What matters is the intention (: 1 Samuel 16:7

TGIGF rehearsal was super fun, I got changed from being the boyfriend into the evil money throwing guy. Which I totally mastered cause it's just this black-drabbed guy waving cash around and chucking it on the floor, tormenting poor Dinah. Hahaha.

B&M Class was pretty cool, especially how Priscilla is so well-versed in Bible stuffs, even the Old testament cool facts. I really feel the need to get right in my walk with God and I feel that I can really devote more time to Him, especially for communication and Bible study. God, help me be a more devoted disciple! :D

A Pastor's take on dating! Was quite cool too. I stuffed my face with pizza, if that helped? HAHA.

Sec 4 Level-based Activity was extremely smoky. Because they were barbecuing stuffs. Haha. But I had a good time talking to random people and celebrating Shabbna's birthday and all. Soccer on Thursday church peoples! Be there or be ^2. (:

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Happy birthday Shabb. (:

See I'm so nice, how can you call me mean! Or average! (No pun intended) I'm devoting this space for a personal birthday post specially for you! Haha.

I hope you've been coping well with secondary 4 life; really, don't feel too much stress until the later part of the year, or else you might just buckle without even realizing it. And well, it's really sad that you won't be going for RMUN this year I was so totally looking forward to being crazy/retarded with you guys but ah well guess it wasn't meant to be. You can still come and crash D&D! :D I DID NOT SAY THAT.

But yeah, you're now 16 years old. It's like, a whole new world of possibilities you know! Playing pool, going to watch NC16 movies, all that kind of stuff. So I just hope that as you continue to grow under God's guidance that you'll look to Him, always, and that you'll follow Him to the ends of the earth. So cliched, but I really do mean it. (: "I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you are nothing." John 15:5, quoted for you in context. Heh.

But yeah honestly, I hope you had a great day today, what with your LBA and all, and well; see you in church tomorrow! Once more, HAPPY BIRTHDAY (: God bless!

---

MT WON DRAMAFESTE. WOOT. We are the best, ever. :D But too bad I couldn't get tickets to watch it, haiz. According to my dear sister it was super epic. Hahhahaa. Darn I feel bad for missing it. GREAT JOB MT!

2010-03-11T20:25:00.005+08:00

RAWR I AM BEHIND TIME IN BOTH SCHOOLWORK AND MASTERLIFE. At least I managed to rush a half-decent econs essay this morning during PW and Math hehe.

For some weird reason I was freaking sick this morning in school. Nose running like a complete retard and sneezing every few minutes, if not seconds. Had to miss out on the video-making workshop cause of that stupid nose. And I don't think it has fully gone away yet, save for those two paracetamol wonders I popped just now.

Yay finally played an msn game that I haven't touched in damn long. I just realized how long we haven't had a real talk; it's quite saddening actually. Hopefully there'll be more time to come (:

NEED TO REFRESH MEMORY.

"If you hold to my teachings, you really are my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" - John 8:31-32

"I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 5:15

Yay not too bad! A few mistakes here or there but as long as the meaning is there it doesn't really matter :D Yay. Really need to start getting back on track with Masterlife.

Oh and the champion song today;

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH YOU.

Oh well. I'm bored, really. And not in the mood for mugging, GOSH. I might just go practice this Saturday's songs (: Bye!

I don't understand people who're never on msn but always on FB, btw :D

//EDIT//

This totally deserves a mention on my blog, heh. That guy is awesome ttm.

2010-03-08T23:28:00.001+08:00

I really need to stop doing that. Every time I tell myself not to do it; and every time I still do it. Haiz. Irritating much; CHANGE DAVID CHANGE. *This refers to two different things, btw*

Oh well training today sucked. But I felt fast, for some reason (: Still have a freaking huge backlog of homework. >< Sleeptime, ciao.

2010-03-07T19:53:00.002+08:00

Hello Rachel Lee. I said I'd write you a blogpost and so I have!

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU OLD PERSON :D 19 years already eh! Okay give me some time to get past my irritating mental block. Always get one before a birthday post...

Oh yes, it's been really fun being your friend! I still can't understand how you manage to have this permanent smile etched into your face; don't your face muscles ever get tired! I'm guessing the secret is lots and lots of practice, hmm. But it's always a refreshing sight especially when other people are feeling a bit emo. You have this uncanny ability to make people laugh even when they don't feel like it. It's a good thing :D

So yeah, even as you continue with your walk with God I just pray that you'll continue to serve Him faithfully and that He'll continue to bless you abundantly. You did an ownage job for caroling last year and I'm sure you'll do great jobs for whatever else you have on your platter right now.

So once again, happy birthday; God bless! (: Cheers.

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HELLO REBECCA HENG :D I know this is a day late but I wanted to spend some time on it and yesterday I didn't have time; anyway...

HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY. Haha don't take offense that it's a day late kay!

It's been really really great getting to know you since that night of random chitchat during 13th Crossing. You've turned out to be a really nice/cool friend whom I can talk to whenever I feel like; I hope you feel the same way. Haha I find it pretty funny how you can be blur sometimes; it's not a bad thing! (:

But yeah even as you continue with school in that omgsopro school called St. Nicks, I just hope that you'll manage to do well and work hard for this year. At the same time, don't worry too much about like what life is throwing at you, because you know that God has been by your side for the past 15 years; He'll continue to do so in the years to come. What's a Chinese test to God?

And yeah I just pray that you'll continue to grow in your walk with Him and that you'll be reminded that whenever you have the need to you can look to Him for guidance and help, and it'll come in some form or another. All the best for the rest of the year yeah!

Once more, HAPPY BIRTHDAY; God bless!

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Okay that's done it for birthday posts this weekend. (: Hope you guys liked it!

SGL training today was pretty mentally-taxing and tiring, but it sure was a whole lot of fun and drama, and definitely a way to get some insight into the world of SGLing. So yeah; I think it was worth the time, very much so.

OMG I HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK. I wanna like, dig into the ground or something. At least school doesn't start too early tomorrow, heh.

Can't wait for TGIGF/S1Level Activity/March holidays! Although honestly I'm not that mentally tired from schoolwork yet. YET. By the way, my school library is cool -- it has the Heroes comic book collection. (HEE.)

Ciao! Need to really have some discipline and GO DO SCHOOLWORK DARN IT. ECONS ESSAY CHEM TUTORIAL CHEM ASSIGNMENT MATH TUTORIALS MATH ASSIGNMENT. RAWR HERE. WE. GOOOO.

2010-03-05T23:21:00.002+08:00

Today's epic quote of the day --

Alex, "How do you prevent the netball from hitting your face?"

Charlene, "You CATCH it la!"

OMG Alex got totally owneddddd.

Hahaha today was pretty fun actually; school wasn't too stressful and I'm happy for Laura! At least you met your expectations/hopes for your Chinese. (: Good job! And training wasn't very exhausting, although my darn shoulders/neck totally aches now thanks to that 40kg high pull.

Wanted to catch MusicFest but was too lazy to move my butt from the gym to the PAC. ><

I'M STILL BACKLOGGING MASTERLIFE OMG NOT GOOD.

---

Hmm nothing's happening interesting right now... Why's my life so routine! And Wendy/PingYen pangsehed me for T90 tomorrow cause they have a soccer match, while I can't go for soccer fellowship because of B&M Class. Not saying that it's a bad thing! But I just have so little time; ah well.

MT OWNS YOU COMPLETELY. ;DDDDDD All the way, MoorTarbet.

2010-03-04T20:46:00.000+08:00

IHG Humanz totally rocked.

Final results; HH, BW, BB, MR, MT. Who led by oh, just about over one THOUSAND points at the end? :D ALL THE WAY MOORTARBET. I think I'm going hoarse after cheering so much. But being backstage and helping out was super super cool. I think I'm going to enjoy my time in HISSOC very very much.

I haven't been doing my MasterLife stuff! My gosh; it's like a backlog of nearly 5 days already, at least I managed to cut that down to a backlog of 2 days. >< Hehe. But I really find it fulfilling. John 8:31-32 "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." Memory verse!

GRAH I don't believe it, I have such a huge backlog of work, the result of like utter stupidity and epic laziness, and haiz it's making me feel so noob among like the other people in my class. I know it's a good thing in the long run but in the short term it makes me feel so demoralized; how I can't understand math when they explain it and it seems so easy, how I can't do chem when they just blow right through most of the questions.

Sad life much.

At least there's still CCA to provide that contrast. Now I really see why they made a contrast in lifestyle so important in JC. But I really must remember not to over-dedicate my time and overstretch myself. (:

Cheers!

No birthdays to blog about today anyway, hehe.

---

Hmm I feel like posting a video. What should I post? Not the TGIGF skit, that'll be too spoiler. Time to go surfing!

SUPER COOL.

I actually wanted to embed a Daughtry video cause he's so ownage but nooooo they disable embedding. Ohwells ciao. :D

2010-03-02T00:00:00.000+08:00

TWO BIRTHDAY POSTS TODAY!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERNEST ONG.

You Yvan Tseng lookalike, haiyo. Hahaha just kidding. Glad to have gotten to know you during track camp, and even though you don't really train with us I'm sure you clicked with the rest of the team just fine; and as agreed, we all had a blast during track camp.

Don't really know what to type for you but I'll try anyway! All the best for pole vault this year eh? Hopefully you get your Nationals slot and then go on to do the school mega-proud. (: I'm sure you will.

But yeah don't forget about your studies either. Good habit to muggggggg like siao before training! Especially since track trainings end so darn late and start so darn late.

Anyways don't be offended if the next post is longer than yours kay! It's the thought that counts right :D So yeah, hope you have a WONDERFUL day ahead, may your wishes come true, and may God smile upon you. :D

Cheers!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRYSTAL CHEW.

Okay so I've only known you what, 2 months going on 3. Can't possibly compare to Danetta's 8 long years but ah well, a birthday post's a birthday post all the same.

It's really tough luck you have your diet and everything and you can't eat meat/fruits/CHOCOLATE. Cause I was planning to buy you chocolate for your birthday present. To be precise, kitkat. You need to take a break, girl!

Stop giving yourself so much pressure and saying "oh crap I don't know this I'm gonna die" because chances are, if you don't know it, most of us won't know it either! So relax, you're still at the head of the crowd, you don't have to kill yourself with unnecessary paranoia while you're at it. (:

So yeah, as you grow one year older (HEH you're old already, haiyo) I just hope that you'll continue to be a good friend and fun classmate. Continue working hard for your Raffles Diploma with Distinction kay! I know you can get it, which is more than can be said for yours truly.

Wow I'm surprised this post is so long; maybe I'm good at bullshitting right now HEH ah well. Have a great day, and best of luck for your scholarship interview. You'll do wonderful; God bless!

Cheers.

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This post was typed out before the actual post time because I'm going to sleep. So yes, it's time-stamped. Midnight kay. :D

Am I wasting my time in track? I really would love to tell myself that I'm not but all the evidence points to the contrary. More about today and this, tomorrow.

<3 y'all who're keeping me afloat.

2010-02-28T18:20:00.003+08:00

My brother is a humongous self-serving imbecile. Think just because he's doing work he can turn his music as loud as he wants and not care about anybody else in the house. And then when I tell him he's not the only person in the house he tells me to "buy him a house for his own".

And then I suggest to him that maybe he should use some earphones since he can't study when he hears outside distractions, so he has to turn his music on super loud. And he tells me in his stupid gangster tone, "Headphones your head la."

I seriously feel like punching him. In the guts or the face. But he's not worth it because I'll just dirty my fist with his stupid blood.

Now he's acting as though he's damn righteous and studious and being a totally good boy by studying, and he's saying that I shouldn't be complaining because I'm not studying and that he should be allowed to blast his music even though it irritates the whole household.

And he starts to cry because I'm apparently "preventing him from making his own future". And he think he's going to get a good score for O levels and he's suaning me for my C5 Higher Chinese. Please, dickhead, you don't even take Higher Chinese. And I bet you'll get nothing lower than a 10. Or maybe a 15.

Look at me, idiot. I'm in RJC. I'm studying in the best freaking school in this country. So don't compare yourself with me, I'm out of your league. Is it even counted as a league? You think you'll be smarter than me, do better than me. Continue dreaming.

Oh and now he starts shouting and screaming and absolutely raving because well, my parents aren't "letting him craft his own future" because they didn't allow him to blast his music so loudly.

Genius much. At least he knows how to guilt trip people; just that he overdoes it.

You know I realize that if this had happened last year, I'd already have gotten up and beaten him to a pulp. Seriously. I'm really thankful that God has helped me change so much. But I'm not completely a saint yet. Which leads to my next point.

I'm sorry for having these mean thoughts. Or rather, I know it's wrong and I should be gracious and all. But well, give me some space, it's not my fault that my brother (haha right) is a raving lunatic. Call me a hypocrite if you wish. Go on, do it. You'd understand if you had the kind of brother I have.

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It's really heartening to see Alex suddenly become so much quieter during service after speaking to him last week. I don't know if you'll see this post dude, but we all really appreciate it. Keep it up yo!

I'm totally looking forward to Pre-U Seminar/TGIGF/Ministry Fair. At least they're things that'll take up my time and keep me busy and not rotting at home doing nothing.

Time to go mug bio/chem/math, cheers.

2010-02-28T01:12:00.004+08:00

Today was pretty cool! Especially the end. :D

Went for my first Baptism and Membership class, quite okay luh. Hehe I should sound more enthu but I'm not. Although the content is really quite interesting! I'm going to ask Pastor Siew Chye the differences between Catholic and Protestant cause I really really wanna know.

Grace Fung I need t-shirts/whatever! You know what I'm talking about :D

And after that, Melvyn's party was the boomz. To the max. Hahhaa. Met like a whole ton of new friends there, nearly all of them from SJI. But I had a blast. Birthday post time!

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HEY MELVYN KOE. Long time no see before you came to RJC but I'm really glad you've joined us. You're like this complete retard during CCA, but it's meant as a compliment. A really nice friendly encouraging funny guy, yeap.

So as you grow one year older don't forget to stay cheery just because more and more of your brain cells are degenerating! Hahha just kidding you smart guy. Really looking forward to seeing you run during Nationals, we're gonna sweep this year totally.

Hope you had a blast today, and may your wishes come true. :D RJC track for the epic win; CHEERS. (:

2010-02-27T00:11:00.003+08:00

I feel bad that I can't get that darned doxology right. ): And like I'm always suffering from this lack of confidence in myself that stems from that fear of screwing up the doxology.

Haiz.

More practice. But practice needs time and I don't have that right now. I'm like totally indebted to Liang Jie for replacing me for this week. You rock man!

Been doing Masterlife! It's actually pretty interesting, hmm, haha. Baptism class tomorrow, wonder what it's going to be like. Still have to get that stupid photograph of mine, heh.

Soccer today was really really fun; I didn't know I still had the reflexes and agility for keeping in me. But it was still there! I'm happy (:

I found a long lost primary school schoolmate! Hahaha. She's pretty cool (:

And of course, ALL-COMERS ARE TOMORROW. And so is Wings X-Country. GOOD LUCK ALL YOU RUNNERS :D I'll try and go down and support you guys when I can. :D

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Im fooling myself, she'll never be mine its too late now.

Cause you know;
That I love you, I've loved you all along
And I miss you, been far away for far too long.

2010-02-25T23:09:00.003+08:00

I need to get some work done! And I realised how much work there's going to be especially next year when well, I couldn't do a graphical functions question and 9 J2s couldn't do it either.

Freaky much, yeah.

So I really really have to stop slacking. Oh but handball today was unsurprisingly really boring. Because there wasn't any artistry, just rough play and choke holds. What did I expect?

Pffft. Tomorrow finally going to play soccer with the guys! Gosh we haven't played in ages. And I really really hope I get into Pre-U Seminar! Cause it'll just be epically cool. (:

I've realized how much I enjoy track. Even though sometimes the guys are just plain retarded. But in the end they're really great people and I'm really blessed to be able to call them teammates, even those who aren't in the school. RJC Athletics, for the epic win. Thank y'all so much for the great fun I've been having.

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Gosh I need to do my Masterlife. Tomorrow, after school. No slacking.